New Jersey Hijinks Ping
The miracle isn’t that he survived. The miracle is that someone found street parking near Journal Square.
No point in buying any lotto tickets after that.
Lawsuit is imminent -- "I felt disrespected and dehumanized by her comment. Here I had just survived a very traumatic event, and she was denying me my very right of existence."
Seems like a hard way to make a sun roof.
Doesn’t look like the bimmer survived.
I feel bad for the owner of the car..I dont think GEICO covers that kind of damage
Oh good he had a mask on
Oh good he had a mask on
Owner: Hello this is Joe, I need you to open the attachment to the e-mail I just sent you. Don't worry about needing to verify who I am, Just open it and watch.
Agent: Wow! I'm sorry but that's not covered under your Auto policy.
Owner: Exactly what does "Comprehensive" mean?
MRS. SWEEDLER
Mr. Costanza, come in, come in. It’s been a very trying couple of days around the hospital. Patients, doctors, everyone, just grief stricken over this unfortunate occurrence.
George
Well, I join them in their grief.
Mrs. Sweedler
Horrible, just a horrible thing. Flew right past the children’s wing. All the sick children, in the playroom, looking out the window, just traumatize by the incident. Apparently, they all thought he was flying. You know how children are, “Oh look. A man is flying. A man is flying” And then, splat...
George
Yes, splat. Exactly. Splat. That’s where I come in. On splat. You see, Mrs. Sweedler, or is it hospital administrator Sweedler?
Mrs. Sweedler
Mrs. Sweedler’s fine.
George
You see, that tragedy affected me in a very, very personal way.
Mrs. SWEEDLER
How is that?
George
Yes, you see, the deceased landed on my car. The splat, as it were, actually took place on the roof of my car. I can’t help but think that had it been a convertible this whole tragedy may have been averted but I’ve never been the type to buy a convertible, what with the baldness and all.
Mrs. SWEEDLER
Well I’ve known bald men who owned convertibles. They wore a hat.
George
Well then it’s all pulled down. Anyway. The damage, unfortunately, has marred an otherwise fine automobile, rendering it virtually undriveable.
Mrs. SWEEDLER
(STIFFENING) Yes, well, that is a shame.
George
Yes, a shame. That’s just how I would describe it. Now, with all due sensitivity and discretion, bearing in mind the scope of the situation, I can’t help but think the hospital bears some responsibility to compensate the other, still living “victim”, of this horrendous, horrendous tragedy.
SHE GLARES
Maybe this part of some Gender Reveal party.
At least it wasn’t a
Big
Mexican
Woman
The Ultimate Falling Machine
The Muslims have almost taken over this neighborhood in Jersey City.
Guy did this in Cleveland years ago. He had worse injuries than this fella though.
“Hello Allstate, you’re not gonna believe this...”
I have this recurring nightmare that I come upon a scene of a car fire, and there is a woman screaming inside... and there are people standing around outside the car taking video, instead of helping.