MRS. SWEEDLER
Mr. Costanza, come in, come in. It’s been a very trying couple of days around the hospital. Patients, doctors, everyone, just grief stricken over this unfortunate occurrence.
George
Well, I join them in their grief.
Mrs. Sweedler
Horrible, just a horrible thing. Flew right past the children’s wing. All the sick children, in the playroom, looking out the window, just traumatize by the incident. Apparently, they all thought he was flying. You know how children are, “Oh look. A man is flying. A man is flying” And then, splat...
George
Yes, splat. Exactly. Splat. That’s where I come in. On splat. You see, Mrs. Sweedler, or is it hospital administrator Sweedler?
Mrs. Sweedler
Mrs. Sweedler’s fine.
George
You see, that tragedy affected me in a very, very personal way.
Mrs. SWEEDLER
How is that?
George
Yes, you see, the deceased landed on my car. The splat, as it were, actually took place on the roof of my car. I can’t help but think that had it been a convertible this whole tragedy may have been averted but I’ve never been the type to buy a convertible, what with the baldness and all.
Mrs. SWEEDLER
Well I’ve known bald men who owned convertibles. They wore a hat.
George
Well then it’s all pulled down. Anyway. The damage, unfortunately, has marred an otherwise fine automobile, rendering it virtually undriveable.
Mrs. SWEEDLER
(STIFFENING) Yes, well, that is a shame.
George
Yes, a shame. That’s just how I would describe it. Now, with all due sensitivity and discretion, bearing in mind the scope of the situation, I can’t help but think the hospital bears some responsibility to compensate the other, still living “victim”, of this horrendous, horrendous tragedy.
SHE GLARES
I think the movie was better