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Rural Americans Burn Kamala Harris At The Stake For Witchcraft After She Shows Them A Photocopier
BabylonBee.com ^
| 7-12-2021
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 07/12/2021 12:22:43 PM PDT by servo1969
PODUNK, KS—Vice President Kamala Harris caused quite a stir while trying to help rural Americans vote. She traveled to some of the most backwater areas of America — thousands of miles from civilization — and brought a photocopier to show them how to copy an ID card. The rural Americans had never seen such a device, though, and soon became angry at it.
“It’s stealing our documents’ souls!” exclaimed one simple rural American upon seeing his ID copied. He then pointed an accusing finger at Harris. “She must be a witch!”
“I am not a witch,” Harris stated, though her statement was undercut by the way she kept cackling like one.
The angry rural folk then tied Harris to a stake to burn her as a witch.
“It was not my idea to impose advanced city technology on your simple rural brains!” Harris pleaded with them. “That is the fault of the Republicans! I wanted to spare you from this!”
The rural people ignored her and began lighting kindling around her feet.
“Science forgive them!” Harris called out. “They know not what they do! For they are too rural and simple! Their brains are filled with nothing but knowledge about corn!”
After letting it go on for a few minutes, the Secret Service finally decided they should probably do something, so they put out the fire, untied Harris, and took her away on Broom One.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee; harris; kamala; photocopier
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To: DuncanWaring
‘She doesn’t know rural residents have indoor plumbing.”
Many years ago the Tennessee Valley Authority was criticized for running a program where they subsidized antisubmarine warfare research. However, little to the critics’ knowledge, TVA’s involvement was caused by a despicable Soviet invasion of E TN where they had dropped a midget submarine into Watts Bar Lake. That sub then went hunting, spotted innocent Hattie Mae Snodgrass taking her morning’s ease on the outdoor toilet she’d planted in the lake, and torpedoed her, dumping her into the lake.
To: servo1969
Harris is just another elitist west coaster.
She doesn’t know a damn thing about fly over country.
22
posted on
07/12/2021 1:17:35 PM PDT
by
Texas resident
(Silver alert: There is a guy running around DC claiming he is the President.)
To: servo1969
I haven’t read a plethora of Bee articles, but of those I have read, this stands out on top.
ROFLMAO
23
posted on
07/12/2021 1:19:12 PM PDT
by
logi_cal869
(-cynicus the "concern troll" a/o 10/03/2018 /!i!! &@$%&*(@ -)
To: servo1969
OMG! That is so hilarious!
“Its the debil!”
LOL LOL LOL
24
posted on
07/12/2021 1:30:02 PM PDT
by
Adder
("Can you be more stupid?" is a question, not a challenge.)
To: servo1969
Bee jumped on this one quickly ...
25
posted on
07/12/2021 1:33:37 PM PDT
by
RetiredTexasVet
(Corrupt Slow Joe Biden is the Bolshevik sock puppet.)
To: Laslo Fripp
Isn't BROOM 1 retired by now?
26
posted on
07/12/2021 1:34:59 PM PDT
by
ProtectOurFreedom
(“We maintain the peace through our strength; weakness only invites aggression.” ~ Ronald Reagan)
To: servo1969
7/11 used to have copiers.
27
posted on
07/12/2021 1:44:41 PM PDT
by
Bloodandgravy
(The mob is the mother of tyrants.)
To: servo1969
LOL! This is one of the funniest Babylon Bee articles I have read to date. Almost as funny as Kamala’s original statement.
Where does the woman live? Under a bridge in a paper bag? Especially since she doesn’t realize that Kinkos doesn’t even exist anymore.
28
posted on
07/12/2021 2:00:06 PM PDT
by
livius
To: doc maverick
I figure she’ll melt down sooner or later.As soon as someone throws a bucket of water on her.
29
posted on
07/12/2021 2:24:15 PM PDT
by
TigersEye
(Who shot Ashli Babbitt?)
To: servo1969
30
posted on
07/12/2021 3:01:06 PM PDT
by
KSCITYBOY
(The media is corrupt)
To: servo1969
Another funny Babylon Bee article. Love it...
31
posted on
07/12/2021 3:37:08 PM PDT
by
Deplorable American1776
(I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/5/21 at the NCGOP convention)
To: rightwingcrazy; servo1969
I thought that Hillary took “Broom One” with her as one of the ‘White House trinkets’ she kept from her and Bill’s presidency.
32
posted on
07/12/2021 3:47:04 PM PDT
by
GreyFriar
(Spearhead - 3rd Armored Division 75-78 & 83-87)
To: DuncanWaring
Some of us don’t; although it’s entirely a matter of choice.
To: servo1969
I just looked up Staples and FedExOffice in Maine. There's a Staples AND FedExOffice in North Windham, Maine. I bet if I did it in New Hampshire, Connecticut (I know Staples/Office Max/Office Depot have stores in rural Connecticut) or any other states, there would be rural stores.
Harris is stupid....
34
posted on
07/12/2021 4:24:09 PM PDT
by
Deplorable American1776
(I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/5/21 at the NCGOP convention)
To: BBQToadRibs2
Hello Muriel, could you connect me to Sam Drucker's General Store....
Muriel: Sure thing Mr. Douglas....
35
posted on
07/12/2021 4:26:54 PM PDT
by
Deplorable American1776
(I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/5/21 at the NCGOP convention)
To: Whenifhow; null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; ...
36
posted on
07/12/2021 6:51:54 PM PDT
by
bitt
(I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve. )
To: servo1969
I’m calling bunk. Broom One is Hillary!™’s exclusive purview, I rather doubt she’d share.
37
posted on
07/12/2021 6:57:54 PM PDT
by
null and void
(Our two party system is not two views fighting. There is only one view. Government needs more power!)
To: servo1969
Rural folks around here would probably use fire starting, balloon popping
pocket lasers to do the job…
38
posted on
07/12/2021 7:07:14 PM PDT
by
EasySt
(Say not this is the truth, but so it seems to me to be, as I see this thing I think I see #KAG)
To: EasySt
I recall when Michael Dukakis was running for president he made an appearance in the South (Atlanta, if I recall correctly). His little Yankee minions decorated the stage appropriately, given that this was in the South, with haystacks and other paraphernalia that made the venue look like a set out of Hee Haw.
I don't think Dukakis did well in the South.
39
posted on
07/12/2021 7:19:39 PM PDT
by
Robwin
( )
To: servo1969
“I am not a witch,” Harris statedThe Bee knocks it out of the park. That is the best self-indictment since Nixon's "I am not a crook."
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