Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Rural Americans Burn Kamala Harris At The Stake For Witchcraft After She Shows Them A Photocopier
BabylonBee.com ^ | 7-12-2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/12/2021 12:22:43 PM PDT by servo1969

PODUNK, KS—Vice President Kamala Harris caused quite a stir while trying to help rural Americans vote. She traveled to some of the most backwater areas of America — thousands of miles from civilization — and brought a photocopier to show them how to copy an ID card. The rural Americans had never seen such a device, though, and soon became angry at it.

“It’s stealing our documents’ souls!” exclaimed one simple rural American upon seeing his ID copied. He then pointed an accusing finger at Harris. “She must be a witch!”

“I am not a witch,” Harris stated, though her statement was undercut by the way she kept cackling like one.

The angry rural folk then tied Harris to a stake to burn her as a witch.

“It was not my idea to impose advanced city technology on your simple rural brains!” Harris pleaded with them. “That is the fault of the Republicans! I wanted to spare you from this!”

The rural people ignored her and began lighting kindling around her feet.

“Science forgive them!” Harris called out. “They know not what they do! For they are too rural and simple! Their brains are filled with nothing but knowledge about corn!”

After letting it go on for a few minutes, the Secret Service finally decided they should probably do something, so they put out the fire, untied Harris, and took her away on Broom One.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee; harris; kamala; photocopier
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-43 next last
Election laws requiring voters to include a copy of identification with their ballots threaten to shut out those who might not have access to a photocopier, Harris said Friday.

"I don't think that we should underestimate what that could mean, because, in some people's mind, that means, well, you're going to have to Xerox or photocopy your ID to send it in to prove that you are who you are," Harris said on BET when asked about voter identification laws being a means of compromising with Republicans.

"There are a whole lot of people, especially people who live in rural communities, who don't — there's no Kinko's, there's no Office Max near them," Harris said. "People have to understand that when we're talking about voter ID laws, be clear about who you have in mind and what would be required of them to prove who they are. Of course, people have to prove who they are, but not in a way that makes it almost impossible for them to prove who they are."

Critics suggested Harris doesn't understand life in rural America.

Ladies and Gentlemen... The Vice President.

1 posted on 07/12/2021 12:22:43 PM PDT by servo1969
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: servo1969

She weighs the same as a duck, too.


2 posted on 07/12/2021 12:23:46 PM PDT by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

bttt


3 posted on 07/12/2021 12:23:57 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire. Or both.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Does Kamala know that rural residents have phones with cameras? And the fancy smart phones can take pdf. images and email them to the County Board of elections?


4 posted on 07/12/2021 12:25:19 PM PDT by 1Old Pro (Let's make crime illegal again!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 1Old Pro

She doesn’t know rural residents have indoor plumbing.


5 posted on 07/12/2021 12:27:20 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

You would think POC and/or rural folk would find it insulting Harris thinks they are incapable of obtaining a free voter ID.


6 posted on 07/12/2021 12:29:03 PM PDT by BBQToadRibs2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

That sly come hither stare


7 posted on 07/12/2021 12:29:48 PM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

“Broom One”

This is how I know it’s fake news. Should say “Two”, not “One”. She’s still Vice President at the moment.


8 posted on 07/12/2021 12:31:56 PM PDT by rightwingcrazy (;-,)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DuncanWaring

1982 I was 16 and went to Florida. I was from the Iowa countryside. Some kids I met asked me, in all seriousness, if we had phones.


9 posted on 07/12/2021 12:32:16 PM PDT by BBQToadRibs2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Wouldn’t BROOM 1 be assigned to witchdoctor Jill?

Actually, I thought that name was retired when Hilary left the public trough.


10 posted on 07/12/2021 12:34:50 PM PDT by Laslo Fripp (The Sybil of Free Republic)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator

I figure she’ll melt down sooner or later.
Between Biden and her, we have the most inept leadership on record in the US. Worse than Jimmah and his brother Billie Bob.
Our enemies are running circles around them and laughing their asses off.


11 posted on 07/12/2021 12:36:01 PM PDT by doc maverick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: BBQToadRibs2

1975. My college roommate, from NJ suburb of NYC, drove out to my home in rural Ohio. He was expecting to see a shack and front porch and rocking chairs as in the opening credits of “Beverly Hillbillies.”


12 posted on 07/12/2021 12:38:35 PM PDT by Remole
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: servo1969
There was a time when urban leftists learned everything they knew about rural America from the film "Deliverance."

These days, they know much less.

13 posted on 07/12/2021 12:48:06 PM PDT by TChad (The MSM, having nuked its own credibility, is now bombing the rubble.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: BBQToadRibs2

“. I was from the Iowa countryside.“

Those Florida folks obviously didn’t realize the worlds 1st digital computer was built at Iowa State!
Most city folk are that way.
They just don’t get it.


14 posted on 07/12/2021 12:49:25 PM PDT by HereInTheHeartland (Leave me alone, I have no incriminating evidence on the Clintons)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

This would be funny if she wasn’t a heartbeat away from the nuclear codes.


15 posted on 07/12/2021 12:50:28 PM PDT by Seruzawa (The political Left is the Garden of Eden of Incompetence - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TChad

I had outlaws who used to give me crap about my relatives who are from the south.

The thing is, my relatives were more urbane and wealthier than the outlaws who were from southern California and thought they were all that.

I heard the snotty little remarks about “I hear banjos” and indoor plumbing.

My people didn’t act like the outlaws did thankfully. They wouldn’t have even tossed a well placed “Bless your heart” at them.


16 posted on 07/12/2021 12:55:01 PM PDT by Califreak (2020-The Year of the Potemkin Election)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

First she cackled and then she crackled.


17 posted on 07/12/2021 12:55:31 PM PDT by antidemoncrat (somRead more at: https://economicti)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Billthedrill
She turned me into a newt.....................

I got better.

18 posted on 07/12/2021 12:59:08 PM PDT by occamrzr06
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Our closest neighbor is 3/4 mile away and we have less than 400 people in our town and we have not one but two state of the art Canon Printers in our house.


19 posted on 07/12/2021 1:04:28 PM PDT by setter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969
"After letting it go on for a few minutes, the Secret Service finally decided they should probably do something"


20 posted on 07/12/2021 1:06:46 PM PDT by StAnDeliver (Eric Coomer of Dominion Voting Systems Is The Blue Dress.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-43 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson