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Biden Releases Controversial New Memoir 'If I Rigged It'
Babylon Bee ^
| 01/01/2021
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 01/03/2021 2:01:16 PM PST by BipolarBob
WILMINGTON, DE—To commemorate the "completely fair and honest" 2020 election, Joe Biden has announced a brand new memoir called If I Rigged It. The book is already being met with critical acclaim for its compelling description of a totally hypothetical situation where Biden and the Democrats fraudulently steal the election.
"Listen here, Jack-- I didn't steal the election," said Biden to a group of adoring fans in the press. "But if I had stolen the election, this is how I would have done it. It's real simple, see? My new book will give you all the dirty details!"
"This book is a masterpiece," said The New York Times. "Biden, who totally wrote this all by himself, draws the reader in with a compelling narrative of a totally hypothetical story. His prose is artful and engaging. The description of an effort to steal the 2020 election is way more believable and interesting than Trump's baseless claims. In short, Biden is a genius."
The book has soared to the top of the New York Times bestseller list in its first week since release. Experts predict it may become the best-selling book of 2021.
Critics have called the book "a highly suspicious work that reads more like an actual confession than a memoir." Trusted media outlets, fact-checkers, and social media have all dismissed these criticisms as "baseless."
If I Rigged It is currently being sold in hardcover for $29.99 and will be available at Amazon.com or wherever books are sold.
TOPICS: Books/Literature; Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bidenmentia
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Read this new classic before they're sold out! Joe Biden, taking a cue from his buddy OJ, is making more money than ever turning out great reading for the whole family. Imagine sitting around the fireplace and listen to Joe's ingenuity and humor as he allegedly pulls off one of the most brazen thefts history. This will be required reading in colleges, so be sure and order your copy early.
To: BipolarBob
I can’t get to the store soon enough..../s
To: BipolarBob
I’ll wait until next week and try my local Dollar store.
To: BipolarBob
I would say they rigged it for him, as they know they can control what he says.
To: BipolarBob
5
posted on
01/03/2021 2:06:22 PM PST
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire. Or both.)
To: BipolarBob
Eh, nah, I’ll wait for the Kindle version to come out. Less to throw away.
6
posted on
01/03/2021 2:08:42 PM PST
by
dayglored
To: All
Actually the Bidens got two book deals.......like the Obamas.
Jill’s book is coming out next month.......entitled, “If I Were a Doctor.”
7
posted on
01/03/2021 2:09:49 PM PST
by
Liz
( Our side has 8 trillion bullets; the other side does n't know which bathroom to use. )
To: BipolarBob
I don't think Joe could figure out how to steal pudding from his own refrigerator without Jill's help.
But this story is still a fun little parody of OJ:
8
posted on
01/03/2021 2:10:09 PM PST
by
KarlInOhio
(The greatest threat to world freedom is the Chinese Communist Party and Joe Biden is their puppet.)
To: BipolarBob
Biden is clarifying that this is a NAUTICAL term and that he simply used the same ghost writer who authored Barack Obama's first book.
To: BipolarBob
Wow. This is powerful satire. The kind that can get a person killed...in China.
To: RoosterRedux
To: BipolarBob
I’ll buy a copy if the grocery stores run out of TP again.
12
posted on
01/03/2021 2:18:56 PM PST
by
EvilCapitalist
(We must FIGHT, I repeat it sir, we must FIGHT! -Patrick Henry)
To: RoosterRedux
Next month Jack Ma will have a book about how he stood up to the CCP regime and called Xi Jinping out.
13
posted on
01/03/2021 2:19:29 PM PST
by
BipolarBob
(Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you ammo. That's pretty much the same thing.)
To: BipolarBob
14
posted on
01/03/2021 2:20:01 PM PST
by
Carriage Hill
(A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
To: carriage_hill
You might get your wish. How else will Kamala be President?
15
posted on
01/03/2021 2:22:09 PM PST
by
EvilCapitalist
(We must FIGHT, I repeat it sir, we must FIGHT! -Patrick Henry)
To: BipolarBob
Is he really capable of being the one who rigged it?
To: BipolarBob
Chapter 1: “There I was, no malarkey...”
17
posted on
01/03/2021 2:23:21 PM PST
by
BradyLS
(DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
To: EvilCapitalist
Have you decrypted this acronym? I don’t know what it means.
18
posted on
01/03/2021 2:33:22 PM PST
by
BipolarBob
(Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you ammo. That's pretty much the same thing.)
To: nickcarraway
In Joes mind, he’s a genius.
19
posted on
01/03/2021 2:34:11 PM PST
by
BipolarBob
(Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you ammo. That's pretty much the same thing.)
To: BipolarBob
20
posted on
01/03/2021 2:35:06 PM PST
by
EvilCapitalist
(We must FIGHT, I repeat it sir, we must FIGHT! -Patrick Henry)
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