Posted on 01/31/2019 8:58:12 AM PST by Red Badger
Danielle Teuscher's 5-year-old daughter Zoe is one of thousands of children conceived with sperm from an anonymous donor. When Teuscher wanted to know more about her daughter's ancestry and possible health issues, she and other family members decided to get DNA tests from 23andMe and added one for Zoe. What turned up appeared to be one of the anonymous donor's immediate relatives. She was shocked.
The donated sperm had come from Northwest Cryobank, which offers donors anonymity, but Teuscher said the apparent relative she found on 23andMe listed themselves as open to messaging.
"I said 'I don't want to cross any boundaries. I just want to let you know that we are out here and we are open to contact if you are,'" Teuscher said.
The relative responded "I don't understand," so Teuscher said she let it go. But then she got a "cease and desist" letter from Northwest Cryobank, telling her not to contact the donor or "learn more information about his identity, background or whereabouts." The sperm bank warned it could "seek $20,000 in liquidated damages." Worst of all she said, it took back "four [4] additional vials of donor's sperm that" she "purchased" – sperm she'd planned to use to have Zoe's genetic siblings.
"Devastating. I mean … I was shocked, I was crying for days, I could barely eat," Teuscher said. "I felt embarrassed almost. Here I thought I was doing this thing I thought was in the best interest of my daughter … And then it just came back on me in just such a harsh way that made me feel like I did something terrible, like I was a criminal."
Northwest Cryobank told CBS News it does not prohibit DNA testing, but said "concern arises when one uses DNA test results to contact a donor and/or his family." The bank said clients like Teuscher have "contractually agreed to not independently seek the identity or attempt to contact these individuals." According to Teuscher, the contract was online.
"I mean, you just click the boxes," Teuscher said. Plus, she said, it's not all about her.
"My daughter is an actual living, breathing, feeling human being who did not sign that contract," Teuscher said.
Contracts or not, many donor-conceived children and their families are finding each other. Wendy Kramer runs the Donor Sibling Registry, a group that connects donor-conceived children and their families. Her own donor-conceived son has found 18 half-siblings, most of them through DNA test matches.
"All of us, thousands of us, have made these connections," Kramer said. "It's a right for everybody to know the truth about their own DNA, their own background, their relatives and their medical histories."
Northwest Cryobank said not all donors will want that opportunity. It said "there is a human being on the other side of the gift who may have a partner, parents, job and children of his own" and uninvited contact "could jeopardize these relationships and families."
But experts say in 2019, that contact may simply be unavoidable. He said despite our best efforts, it's impossible to promise anonymity anymore.
"The problem we have now is that the science has kind of overstepped where we are, in terms of legality," said Dr. Peter McGovern, an infertility specialist.
But Teuscher said with the loss of her vials, the promise of more children could be ended for her.
"They literally took my babies. My future babies," she said.
After we contacted Northwest Cryobank for this story, a representative sent Teuscher an email saying the bank would refund the money she paid for those additional vials of her donor's sperm, but did not offer to give her vials back.
The representative we spoke to at Northwest Cryobank told us that this is the only letter threatening legal action that they've ever sent to a client, to his knowledge.
Good summary.
He wacked off into a tube.
Handed tube to clinician.
Walked away.
Woman impregnated with HIS sperm.
Child born with HIS DNA.
He's not there. He has abandoned woman, mother, and child. He walked away.
He should be taken out behind the clinic and shot.
Fathers who abandon their children should be taken out and shot.
Yes, other parties (including the state!) are involved.
I’m ok with that too.
So, if she is interested in finding what medical conditions exist with the father, she might be able through the donor bank.
However, I feel that she is looking for "entitlements", which according to Family court is 27% of gross, before taxes.
Ok, my sister-in-law has been pushing for my husband to get a genetic test. Hubby is resisting as he hates the idea of his personal information available to a commercial company. I fully agree with him on this. That said, I have no experience with these companies. I can understand someone wanting to know their genetic makeup but do the companies disclose actual names of people who closely match the sample?
They refunded her the money for the vials. She signed a contract to not contact donor. She violated the contract
Just a ploy. She’s angling to ID the donor to sue him for child support and with family court being the feminist Star Chamber that it is, she’ll get it too.
..now Im dating myself!
************
Are you and yourself having fun on your dates?
"Where is the FATHER.....not the sperm donor, but the FATHER?"
Just go to any supermarket, go to the "cooking section," look for a Turkey Baster / FATHER.
You are getting into another issue, the issue of whether sperm donation and sperm banks should be banned.
The day my MIL told me my SIL (her divorced daughter) did this (used a sperm donor because she wanted another baby)I burst into tears. To bring a child purposely into this world without a Father is evil in my mind.
Here’s another thought, maybe her real reason to find the donor was to make a connection and guilt trip the guy into financially supporting the child.......
actually I think it is because there is a more traditional outlook about families in Europe and they understand that one should know both parents if possible. They may not marry but they do involve both parents.
Yep. Terrible judgment from the get go
This woman is all about herself, and using the child as a prop
You utterly fail to understand the underlying point.
Male = bad oppressor
Woman = victim of toxic masculinity.
Even on this site that worldview has its fanatic proponents.
No, they do not have that right. Especially when they sign a contract. The donor has a right to remain anonymous.
No where in there is there any mention of a daddy. Why is that? Smells like a pink pussy hat wearing loony who doesn't need a man in her life... well, except for his sperm.
Because of her actions they don't want her to have any future children via the sperm bank.
Woman is upset. Claims that taking back unused sperm is theft of her unborn babies. Kind of melodramatic.
Gosh who would have thought that could happen. Woman now complains to national media.
This is a stupid story about “nothing.”
Jodie Foster type.....................
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