Posted on 11/08/2016 6:30:23 AM PST by sodpoodle
BBC News - Suicide Bombers Go On Strike!
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Aloud Bang told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the groin".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Aisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of American Democrat Hillary Clinton. Many Muslim Jihadists, after seeing a picture of her, believe she must be a virgin, and have reconsidered their benefit package.
Funny, thanks.
If you didn’t like that - you make like this:)
Irishman-Paddy............
Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.
On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
“Tell me about your staff,” he asked Paddy.
“Well,” said Paddy, “there’s the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there’s the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.
There’s also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife.”
“That’s disgraceful” said the inspector, “I need to interview the half-wit.”
“That’ll be me then,” said Paddy.
Funny:
All they need to do is keep living.
A very effective tactic.
Oh Sod....You’re too much.....Love, Sac
Can’t wait for retirement pension and health benefits.
thought maybe some of us needed a stress reliever.
Get some great emails from an old friend and try to post the best ones. Most have pictures/cartoons and I don’t have the expertise to post those.
back atchya;)
Boy! Did we ever need that this morning. We need to print it, keep it handy and refer to it all day for laughs as we aren’t going to get them elsewhere today.
Have you noticed that no terrorist attacks have occurred here recently to allow their friends, the Democrats to retake the White House?
When Trump wins the election tonight - FReepers should devote Wednesday to humorous threads, because we will have so much leftover laughter, joy and gratitude.
I don’t think you can post them from your computer. However, I think you can upload them to your page and then post them to a post. Not sure but it seems like it should be possible.
There were reports of ISIS threatening to disrupt polling areas - not much more than that on MSM.
But you make an excellent observation - the Muslims would much prefer to maintain Huma’s friend in the WH & continue her spying.
Imagine what they’ll do when they find out it’s RAISINS, NOT VIRGINS.
They’ll go for the wrinkles...
It’s how they roll!
LOL.
And from some of the posts tonight - hangovers!! I just indulged in ice cream; my way of coping!
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