Brilliant Pieces of Furniture Made from Recycled Car Parts
Posted on 09/09/2016 6:05:27 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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Brilliant Pieces of Furniture Made from Recycled Car Parts
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Hillary Clinton called Bill Clinton into her office one day and said,”Bill, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2016!”
“Great Hillary, but how?” asked Bill.
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle
Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there.”
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.
The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you
Bill and Hillary Clinton?”
“Yes we are!” said Hillary, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Bill suggested we stop and take in some local color.”
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, Walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, Shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, In came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, Lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head And left the bar.
For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in,
Lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Hillary asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come
In and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”
“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there
Running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever In here with two assholes!”
HAPPY FRIDAY!
IN!!!
Top 10
Good Morning!
I NEED some silliness today. :-)
TOP 10!!! TGIF!!!
First time Top Ten for me, EVER!
Thank you for giving me a chuckle every week.
When I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were guest preachers at a
nearby church, I decided to go there and check them out in person.
As soon as I sat down, Reverend Sharpton came over to me. I don’t know
why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the church.
He laid his hands on my hand and said: “By the will of Jesus the Lord
Almighty, and the will of God, you will walk today.”
I told him I was not paralyzed.
Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: “By the Grace of God, and his Son
Jesus, the Lord Almighty, you will walk today.”
Again I said that there is nothing wrong with me.
After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold?
My Car Was Gone!
Amen!
Top 20. Woohoo...
Happy Friday !! Top 15 ?
FW: A Jewish Bookie ..
A Jewish bookie was at the races playing the ponies and losing his shirt.
He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a long shot - won the race.
Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, he blessed one of the horses.
The bookie made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the race.
He collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless next. He bet big on it, and it won.
As the races continued the Priest kept blessing horses, and each one ended up winning. The bookie was elated. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited for the Priest’s blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was 100/1. This time the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.
The bookie knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag. He watched dumbfounded as the old nag pulled up and couldn’t even finish the race. In a state of shock, he went to the track area where the Priest was. Confronting him, he demanded, “Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed never even had a chance. Now, thanks to you I’ve lost every cent of my savings!”
The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. “You are not Catholic are you my son?”
“No, I’m Jewish.”
“That’s the problem,” said the Priest, “you couldn’t tell the difference between a blessing and last rites.”
Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk
about the world. After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. “Kenneth,” he says.
And what is your question, Kenneth?” she asks.
“I have three questions,” he says.
“First — whatever happened in Benghazi?
“Second — why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
“And, third — whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?”
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that
they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says, “Okay, where were we? Oh, that’s right, question time.
Who has a question?”
A different boy — little Johnny — puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
“Johnny,” he says.
“And what is your question, Johnny?” she asks.I have five questions,” he says.
“First — whatever happened in Benghazi?
“Second — why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
“Third — whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
“Fourth — why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
“And, fifth — where’s Kenneth?
Happy Friday!
IN! TOP — whatever.
Good Friday Morning to you, Lucky!
*snort*
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