Hillary Clinton called Bill Clinton into her office one day and said,”Bill, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2016!”
“Great Hillary, but how?” asked Bill.
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle
Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there.”
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.
The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you
Bill and Hillary Clinton?”
“Yes we are!” said Hillary, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Bill suggested we stop and take in some local color.”
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, Walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, Shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, In came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, Lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head And left the bar.
For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in,
Lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Hillary asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come
In and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”
“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there
Running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever In here with two assholes!”
HAPPY FRIDAY!
IN!!!
Top 10
TOP 10!!! TGIF!!!
Thank you for giving me a chuckle every week.
Happy Friday !! Top 15 ?
Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk
about the world. After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. “Kenneth,” he says.
And what is your question, Kenneth?” she asks.
“I have three questions,” he says.
“First — whatever happened in Benghazi?
“Second — why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
“And, third — whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?”
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that
they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says, “Okay, where were we? Oh, that’s right, question time.
Who has a question?”
A different boy — little Johnny — puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
“Johnny,” he says.
“And what is your question, Johnny?” she asks.I have five questions,” he says.
“First — whatever happened in Benghazi?
“Second — why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
“Third — whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
“Fourth — why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
“And, fifth — where’s Kenneth?
IN! TOP — whatever.
Good Friday Morning to you, Lucky!
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The women walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to the man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
She's disgusted and turns away while Bill continues his jog. A few days later, he finds himself jogging in the same area and as luck would have it, the prostitute is still there. But she won't come down on her price. “Fifty!” she shouts. Bill answers her, “Five!” No sale.
About a week later, Hillary has decided that she wants to get into shape so she demands to go jogging with Bill. They get to the seedy part of town and the same prostitute is still there. She eyes Bill and Hillary together and yells, “See what you get for five dollars!”
Top 50!!
Now I am not sure about the pumpkin pasta sauce.
As long as they didn't use the pumpkin pie spice it might be ok.
