Hillary Clinton called Bill Clinton into her office one day and said,”Bill, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2016!”
“Great Hillary, but how?” asked Bill.
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle
Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there.”
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.
The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you
Bill and Hillary Clinton?”
“Yes we are!” said Hillary, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Bill suggested we stop and take in some local color.”
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, Walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, Shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, In came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, Lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head And left the bar.
For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in,
Lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Hillary asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come
In and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”
“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there
Running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever In here with two assholes!”
When I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were guest preachers at a
nearby church, I decided to go there and check them out in person.
As soon as I sat down, Reverend Sharpton came over to me. I don’t know
why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the church.
He laid his hands on my hand and said: “By the will of Jesus the Lord
Almighty, and the will of God, you will walk today.”
I told him I was not paralyzed.
Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: “By the Grace of God, and his Son
Jesus, the Lord Almighty, you will walk today.”
Again I said that there is nothing wrong with me.
After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold?
My Car Was Gone!
Amen!
*snort*
LOL!