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Things I trust more than Hillary Clinton (feel free to add to the list)

Posted on 02/06/2016 11:25:52 AM PST by Red in Blue PA

* Camping with Michael Moore after a night of chili-dogs and cheap beer * Someone in burqa holding ticking briefcase * A 3 am Aaron Hernandez backseat car ride down a dark road unarmed * A 3am intoxicated Hillary driving front seat car ride down a dark road unarmed * Being Charlie Hedbo’s doorman * John Kerry's war record * John Boehner’s dermatologist * Rosie O’Donnell’s Guide to Better Lesbian Parenting * Waking up to the horror of Debbie Wasserman Schultz * Bill sha longing Hillary once in last 30 yrs. * A Chaz Bono E.D. commercial * Middle East mail-order bride dressed in tarp * An “It’s Just For Lunch” date in Karachi * Obama marriage lasting another five years * A Saudi executioner circumcision * An Anthony Weiner text w/image * A Huma Weiner text w/image * A flat broke used car salesman with rent due * John Wayne Gacy as a clown at my child's birthday party * A fart when I have diarrhea * A Jimmy Carter rescue plan * Condoms from the Dollar Store * The check is already in the mail * Michael Vick's dog sitting service * Obama's so-called Birth Certificate * Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton * A lap dancer with an Adam's Apple * Bill Cosby escorting my daughter on an overnight weekend trip * Malaysian Airlines flight safety records * The NSA is not spying on regular citizens * A rape accusation in Rolling Stone magazine * Gun Control statistics from The Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence * A Palestinian on a motorcycle * Business venture in Mecca involving crosses or ham steak * Hillarys Acute Dementia * Anyone named Abdullah Hussein Ali Baba from Vera Cruz * Rod Blagojevich * An elevator ride with Ray Rice * Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby . * Sex Education taught by Jocelyn Elders * Michael Jackson's Doctor * Jerry Sandusky's football camp * An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran * A Catholic priest at a boys camp * Bill Clinton at a girls camp * Madonnas virginity * Being alone anywhere with Al Gore * A blind date with Sheila Jackson Lee * Jesse Jackson holding a knife and scissors * A Manson Family Christmas * An Obama opinion * An Obama indecision * Going along on an Obama vacation * Hillary in no need of an exorcism * Rodney King teaching my kids to drive * Nixon’s secret plan to end the Vietnam War * Bush’s Al Qaeda hunt in Iraq * Obamas Christian claim * A Kenyan "born" in Hawaii * Obama's claims of "Islam's contributions to America and the religion of love".. * Receiving a package from Ted "Unabomber" Kaczynski * Lois Lerner innocence * Brian Williams news reports * A blind date with Ted Bundy * Loch Ness monster sightings * Al Sharpton watching anyone’s back * Gas station Sushi * Working out with Harry Reid * Any leadership from Obama * Pot-luck stew by Jeffery Dahmer * Oprah's weight loss plan * A selfie with a rattlesnake * OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection * Saudia Arabian hospitality * Quail hunting with D(i)(c)k Cheney * Tom Brady's footballs * Sex with an HIV positive partner * Bill Cosby escorting my daughter on an overnight weekend trip * Bill Clinton seminar on procurement and penile straightening * Nancy Pelosis Tax Return * Beauty tips from Janet Reno & Ruth Bader Ginsburg * Medical advice from Dr. Jack Kevorkian * Going on The Jerry Springer Show * Dinner date with any of “The View” regulars * Golfing with Gerald Ford * A Jimmy Carter economic plan


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: benghazi; corrupt; corruption; hillary; hillary2016; hillaryclinton; hitlery; humor
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1 posted on 02/06/2016 11:25:52 AM PST by Red in Blue PA
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To: Red in Blue PA

* Camping with Michael Moore after a night of chili-dogs and cheap beer
* Someone in burqa holding ticking briefcase
* A 3 am Aaron Hernandez backseat car ride down a dark road unarmed
* A 3am intoxicated Hillary driving front seat car ride down a dark road unarmed
* Being Charlie Hedbo’s doorman
* John Kerry’s war record
* John Boehner’s dermatologist
* Rosie O’Donnell’s Guide to Better Lesbian Parenting
* Waking up to the horror of Debbie Wasserman Schultz
* Bill sha longing Hillary once in last 30 yrs.
* A Chaz Bono E.D. commercial
* Middle East mail-order bride dressed in tarp
* An “It’s Just For Lunch” date in Karachi
* Obama marriage lasting another five years
* A Saudi executioner circumcision
* An Anthony Weiner text w/image
* A Huma Weiner text w/image
* A flat broke used car salesman with rent due
* John Wayne Gacy as a clown at my child’s birthday party
* A fart when I have diarrhea
* A Jimmy Carter rescue plan
* Condoms from the Dollar Store
* The check is already in the mail
* Michael Vick’s dog sitting service
* Obama’s so-called Birth Certificate
* Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton
* A lap dancer with an Adam’s Apple
* Bill Cosby escorting my daughter on an overnight weekend trip
* Malaysian Airlines flight safety records
* The NSA is not spying on regular citizens
* A rape accusation in Rolling Stone magazine
* Gun Control statistics from The Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence
* A Palestinian on a motorcycle
* Business venture in Mecca involving crosses or ham steak
* Hillarys Acute Dementia
* Anyone named Abdullah Hussein Ali Baba from Vera Cruz
* Rod Blagojevich
* An elevator ride with Ray Rice
* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby .
* Sex Education taught by Jocelyn Elders
* Michael Jackson’s Doctor
* Jerry Sandusky’s football camp
* An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran
* A Catholic priest at a boys camp
* Bill Clinton at a girls camp
* Madonnas virginity
* Being alone anywhere with Al Gore
* A blind date with Sheila Jackson Lee
* Jesse Jackson holding a knife and scissors
* A Manson Family Christmas
* An Obama opinion
* An Obama indecision
* Going along on an Obama vacation
* Hillary in no need of an exorcism
* Rodney King teaching my kids to drive
* Nixon’s secret plan to end the Vietnam War
* Bush’s Al Qaeda hunt in Iraq
* Obamas Christian claim
* A Kenyan “born” in Hawaii
* Obama’s claims of “Islam’s contributions to America and the religion of love”..
* Receiving a package from Ted “Unabomber” Kaczynski
* Lois Lerner innocence
* Brian Williams news reports
* A blind date with Ted Bundy
* Loch Ness monster sightings
* Al Sharpton watching anyone’s back
* Gas station Sushi
* Working out with Harry Reid
* Any leadership from Obama
* Pot-luck stew by Jeffery Dahmer
* Oprah’s weight loss plan
* A selfie with a rattlesnake
* OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection
* Saudia Arabian hospitality
* Quail hunting with D(i)(c)k Cheney
* Tom Brady’s footballs
* Sex with an HIV positive partner
* Bill Cosby escorting my daughter on an overnight weekend trip
* Bill Clinton seminar on procurement and penile straightening
* Nancy Pelosis Tax Return
* Beauty tips from Janet Reno & Ruth Bader Ginsburg
* Medical advice from Dr. Jack Kevorkian
* Going on The Jerry Springer Show
* Dinner date with any of “The View” regulars
* Golfing with Gerald Ford
* A Jimmy Carter economic plan


2 posted on 02/06/2016 11:26:02 AM PST by Red in Blue PA (war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength, obama loves America)
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To: Red in Blue PA

I trust a fart after a huge Mexican dinner more than I trust Shrillary.


3 posted on 02/06/2016 11:30:45 AM PST by joethedrummer
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To: Red in Blue PA

A rattle snake with a pet me sign.


4 posted on 02/06/2016 11:32:09 AM PST by goodwithagun (My gun has killed fewer people than Ted Kennedy's car.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

Somalian Pirate


5 posted on 02/06/2016 11:33:28 AM PST by donozark (Bernie Sanders:I was commie when commie wasn't koo-ol!)
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To: Red in Blue PA
Obama's so-called Birth Certificate

That's a stretch.

ML/NJ

6 posted on 02/06/2016 11:34:02 AM PST by ml/nj
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To: Red in Blue PA

Chicken pox


7 posted on 02/06/2016 11:34:52 AM PST by FroggyTheGremlim (Hunga Tonga-Hunga.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

lol


8 posted on 02/06/2016 11:35:00 AM PST by Jane Austen (Marco Rubio is the White Obama and beholden to special interests.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

9 posted on 02/06/2016 11:36:17 AM PST by nascarnation
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To: Red in Blue PA

Pajama Boy selling Obamacare.

For that matter, anyone selling Obamacare.


10 posted on 02/06/2016 11:36:19 AM PST by randita
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To: Red in Blue PA
*Lindsay Lohan guarding my coke stash.

*Steven Avery's claims of innocence.

Kush

11 posted on 02/06/2016 11:38:22 AM PST by Kush (Insert your own witty, patriotic, or sarcastic remark here.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

A raised guillotine, held by a thin, feathery rope.


12 posted on 02/06/2016 11:38:35 AM PST by lee martell
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To: Red in Blue PA

Bullwinkle pulling a rabbit out of a hat.


13 posted on 02/06/2016 11:40:24 AM PST by tacticalogic ("Oh bother!" said Pooh, as he chambered his last round.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

A midnight stroll through Baltimore.

.


14 posted on 02/06/2016 11:40:39 AM PST by Mears
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To: Red in Blue PA

Obama’s war on ISIS


15 posted on 02/06/2016 11:40:42 AM PST by Vic S
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To: Red in Blue PA

my millionaire brother in law picking up a check.

me being 200 pounds again

my wife being 120 pound again (don’t tell her i said that!!)

my brother’s wife letting him be debt free again

my cat deciding i deserve to eat in peace and stop begging

a promise for no primary threads to be posted for an hour here :)

Jim not getting heartburn one day during primary season

driving though stapleton and seeing hundreds of obama’s sons on the bus stop at 7 in the morning in suits with no 40s in hand.

Chris Christie promising not to eat the donut in his hand


16 posted on 02/06/2016 11:40:48 AM PST by dp0622
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To: Red in Blue PA
Anyone from the government showing up to say - “ I'm here to help”
17 posted on 02/06/2016 11:41:22 AM PST by builder (I don't want a piece of someone else's pie)
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To: Red in Blue PA

A slumber party with Michael Jackson
A male Muslim babysitter
A Cyprus banker
7th century barbarians keeping a peace treaty


18 posted on 02/06/2016 11:42:02 AM PST by jsanders2001
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To: Red in Blue PA
A pit bull wandering lose dragging a broken three foot long chain.
19 posted on 02/06/2016 11:42:06 AM PST by builder (I don't want a piece of someone else's pie)
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To: Red in Blue PA

Gas station sushi


20 posted on 02/06/2016 11:43:45 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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