Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Just think..
Have a great day Chaps.
Break out the fishing gear and beer. :)
Any body posting this late is picking their sister up at the airport or is crazy.
If we get enough Global Warming, all the Southern people can just move to depopulated New York, thereby turning it into a fairly decent place.
There was a "Star Trek: TNG" episode to that effect. It had young Ashley Judd in it.
Be safe! I saw my brother for five minutes on Friday.
Great floofy squee! Name a dat kitteh is Powder Puff!
Happy Father’s Day, Gentlemen!
I hope it’s a great day for all of you filled with all the things you want to do! <3
Good morning! I hope you had a good night.
Many small children are turning up. Just habit, I guess ... we didn’t really need them until 8:00.
Yes floofy kitten should be named powder puff.
:)
Happy Fathers Day to all the dads and grand dads in here.
Well, I was up at 0300 again, and I really hope this isn’t the new normal for me. It makes me cranky and I don’t make good decisions.
So I’ve been sitting here in the silence, surfing the web, trying to pass the time until it gets light outside.
My finger is swollen and hurt enough to wake me up this morning, and so far, after over 90 minutes since I had the first morphine pill of the day, I’m still in pain. They are supposed to “last eight hours,” but I’m lucky to get four. *sigh*
But. This is Father’s Day, and I’m thinking seriously about going to church, but I don’t really feel up to it. I’ve already had to have a breathing treatment today, and I don’t like that.
I’m wondering if I even feel like showering. It’s that kind of day already.
Still I will try to make the best of the day that has been given to me, and wish the best for all the fathers out there. Give my regards to Der Prinz, please!
(Yep. In reading this over, it looks like a “minor” CFIDS relapse, again. Dang that disease.)
There may be many small things turn up here, but for the most part, they have six to eight legs and are not particularly welcome.
Time for pest control to come again...
According to the source, the floofy kitten lives with a family of three young boys.
You should shower. I have!
I showered, but it wasn’t much of an improvement, except to make me smell better. And that may be the best the day gets.
I think I feel another breathing treatment coming on.
In NV, if we register as Republican, we have to vote as Republican, and so on through the political parties. No voting for whoever you want across the parties. I was registered as Republican, and realized that left me with the choice of Donald or Trump. So I changed my voting affiliation to Libertarian. I hope I won’t regret that, but Johnson sounds VERY good.
I will go Tuesday morning to have the tires rotated, but I need $40 to get the tuck serviced. And it needs that, because it has been a year, just like the tire rotation. I don’t drive very much any more. I guess that’s a good thing, too.
The rotation is free, but they always try to sell you tires. (Every single time I have tried to write “tires,” my fingers have typed, “tired.” ) *sheesh*
Probably not a good idea to get your fingers rotated.
I think I tried that on Memorial Day. All that resulted was a lot of blood and constant pain. It’s still numb and swollen, but rotating is truly not a good idea for fingers.
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