Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Oh, hi Bob.
You’re so cute when you’re trying to get the meandering hordes organized. It’s probably a good thing that you can’t hurl lightning bolts at them.
I can’t even bellow at them, now. My voice is at about 40%. I kept having to tell my Cub Scouts den things one at a time, each in his personal ear. “We’re going to leave in 2 minutes; get your stuff together.” x9.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll try, “Pass it on!” although that could result in some confusion at the far end.
Bill has gone to get James at the pool; James is finished swimming. When he gets home, I’ll put him, Frank, and Kathleen to bed.
And one more day will have been accomplished.
Your stamina is awesome.
Thank you. I have good genes and eat a healthy diet, and I’ve given up wine until I’m thin.
DP and three kids are still at the pool, but he can get them squared.
It's a simple ingredients list really.
'Every part of the pig but the oink'..
Are you going into the black market in Tea Kettles over there?
LoL,Oh yeah!
Many are already calling June 23rd Independence Day.
Let’s just hope this comes off without having to go all 1776 on them. :)
(Or 1215 or 1485 or 1640 or 1720 or 1939)
The country is split, in a quiet ‘Staring-over-the-top-of-the-glasses’ type of way.
I’m just going to chew on more grass and watch..... :)
Yes..
‘Twill give you pause to ruminate while awaiting the verdict..
The caption, of necessity, should read: “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good”.
Lol. Morning, Bob.
My brains are still dripping out my ears, and my voice is down to 30%. Good thing I’m not leading the choir on Sunday: I’ll sound like George Thorogood.
I Ching hexagram reading:
Tread carefully, many puddles in path.
I believe I would enjoy some real hot dogs. I seldom buy the hot dog substitutes these days. Maybe I should start buying Nathan’s...?
I don’t think I’ve ever had scrapple, unless it was served to me under a different name. :o|
Go away...you haz scrapple
This is what woke me up for the third time early this morning, so I’m sharing with you. Happy earworms!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qe13bACgcJs
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.