Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Two Laughs in twenty seconds, You’s on a Roll ! :)
Just goes to show you that time is a relative thing. For you it was twenty seconds. Over here it was three and a half hours...
(I really waited for someone to come along and jump on the 00 but no one did..)
And that road in 9302 looks like a great motorcycle course. Except that I no longer have a motorcycle..
I’m waiting out a windows update on my laptop. When it’s finished I’m outa here.. ;-)
“Three and a half hours”
Those were the days....
Leave Heathrow at 11:00 arrive NY at 10:30...ish.
Really do miss the 11:00 flyover.
It was great for checking the structural integrity of the house.
For those who never experienced a SpeedBird Flypast, think two F15s in each ear on full reheat, whilst sat on the washing machine during a Spin Cycle with bricks in the drum. *Sigh* Such memories,LOL !
(And yes ,we lived right under the flight path.)
Whoever picked that toy must be colorblind.
LOL!!!!
Circuits was my least favorite course in getting my engineering degree.
I was up at 0300 yesterday, and even with an early morning nap, I still went to bed a little early, so I missed the 00, NoC. Our temp will only be 95 today! I hope the wind dies down.
And yes, ArGee, Michael J Fox played a teen well into his 30’s, and played it well.
Moosie, that road made me dizzy! And when I was a child bride, my husband was stationed at San Diego, and the little bungalow we rented was in the flight path for Lindbergh Field, and if we went outside, we could see the rivets on the fuselage...you already know about the noise!
Tax-chick...let me understand, you cut up some peaches and made coffee? How does that taste?
And Covenantor, those shoes made me cringe. And once again, I ask you: Where do you GET this stuff?
And so, kiddies, since I'm up so early again, I'm headed for the shower and maybe by the time I'm back, I'll feel like a real human person.
Morning, guys. I remember when DP was taking his first electronics courses, about 1993. Anoreth knew the names of all the parts.
W00t! Cute pic...
Morning, ‘Face. I can multitask: the coffee tasted fine, and the children are eating the peaches.
Trip to the gym will leave in about half an hour. Then I have more fruit and vegetables to prepare.
Our team won the swim meet by one point.
Hard boiled eggs and coffee: Atkins. Gettin buff for da Revolution! Woohoo!!
Winning by one point is better than a tie. At least then, you don’t have to flip a coin.
(Why, oh WHY, did I wake up at 0300 again?)
Shower time...
no sweat
Ohnoes! You bruised the cherries! :o[
Cool!
I don’t like cherries. They have pits.
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