Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Lord, I apologize for that one there, and please be with all the starving Pygmies down there in New Guinea!
Wow, it sounds like you really got hit. Good luck hanging in until the thaw!
Good morning! I hope your day gets better! I’m sorting music for the Spanish Mass. Then I’ll take a shower, and then I’ll take Bill to work.
Morning Moosie!
Morning Covenantor!
I hope you are both well this morning; since you’re both posting here that’s a good sign! :o]
It was just ugly, yesterday, and chilly, but with the amount of low clouds around Mt Charleston, (11,908’) there is no doubt the snow up there that was predicted actually fell.
I’m glad I don’t have to deal with snow that’s more than an inch deep at a time! :o]
Yeah, pretty much center of the bullseye. I270 closed last night from DC Beltway to Fredrick. Primary roads? Forget about secondaries. Not going anywhere for a few days.
The days will get better when summer comes. I always have troubles with allergies in the winter, and my lungs don’t like the cold, so all I can do is just deal with things the best I can.
Once again, I laid my church clothes out, thinking yesterday of going today, but now that I’m up, I’m not sure if I’ll make it. Again.
I will have a breathing treatment in a bit and see if that helps.
We’ll be blessed with unsullied Winter Wonderland vistas for a good period.
Wow. I remember the winter we lived in Bealeton, VA (Between Remington and Culpeper) there were 3” of snow that fell and the schools closed for two days.
Having grown up in the Rockies, I couldn’t understand that! Three inches? Pish-tosh! We walked 12 blocks in a foot of snow, if we were lucky.
Of course, there was a guy in the town who built a wedge-shaped wooden sled, which had a seat on it. He would harness up his ol’ Bay, and add bells to the harness, and on mornings after a snow we would hear those bells with their trotting rhythm, coming by, plowing the sidewalk.
I don’t know how much of the town he did, but we lived on Main Street, so we got the benefit.
“Indeed...Telegraph says Storm Jonas has intent to visit UK as well.”
We usually get your weather left-overs a week or so after you’ve finished with them. Don’t be in to must of a hurry with this one, eh.
I know....let’s get parliament to just Ban storm Jonas, yeah that’ll fix it!
Morning Face.
:)
I was thinking about that storm heading your way in a week plus a day or two, and all I can say, is “Hunker down, Dude!”
I certainly don’t want to see that much devastation hit any place else. I’m sure it will be a week before they all get back to normal, here.
I believe there could be a military coup in this country if Corbin ever gets into the Terraced cottage.
Weather left-overs? And all along we’ve been thinking we polished the rough edges off for our cousins.
;>)
It would be Teotwawki if we get more than four inches, oh the huge manatee!
We are on the same latitude as Hudson Bay, but no one ever expects it to snow....duh.
You certainly knock the rough edges of it for us, that’s for sure. :)
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Picked up one of those German Navy four wheel ‘Enigma’ machines at a rummage sale, eh.
Transmission received...
Wow. I’m impressed. You both appear to be fluent in Gibberish. Bravo!
Up hill, both ways.
On icy days we wrapped our bare feet in barbed wire so we wouldn't slip...
Not really impressive when you consider my reply to moose was pure cut and paste of his “text” modified by the NSA hack FR cryptic character insertion flag plug-in. Just the puzzle palace messing about.
Compare length of copy vs original.
Speaking of No Such Agency, google earth view of their massive parking lot would indicate activity level by car count....
No, it was uphill only on the way home, and that, only for four of the 12 blocks. Easy!!! And my toes have suffered minor frostbite, too. But that’s OK because my feet are a size smaller than they should be for my height! :o])
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