Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
That could be used to describe almost any inexplicable behavior today.
Well, except mine...I mean, I don’t even know how to make a Slurpee. :o|
Good luck on your Vegas trip! I’m taking Sally, Vlad, and Frank to VBS and then going to Weight Watchers. Bill the Son, who owes me a favor, will take Kathleen to her swimming lesson.
Tomorrow Jamie is coming to cut my hair, and then her son will stay here and play nerdy games with my boys until whenever.
I wouldn’t go if I didn’t need the morphine. Sad to say, I’ve learned to depend on that to get my work done. :o[
I will have to reschedule the surgical procedure once again, though, and ask to do it when the weather’s cooler, so if necessary (and IF I can find someone who knows how to drive a stick shift AND has a valid license) I can take along a co-pilot, just for appearances. I get over any anesthetic they give me in a hurry, and all they will do is make me numb. I can make the drive myself. (I’ve done it before!)
Anyway, thanks for the luck...if so many people hadn’t abused prescription drugs, I wouldn’t have to go through this long drive every month. It will be different when I get moved to St. George.
I use NAPA mostly because the local store has some really sharp counter guys and they do machine work. Certainly not the cheapest but you do get 10% off with triple A member card.
Were I a Christian, I’d wear one.
Anyone have a good source of garum? I’d like to try it.
Exerising your privilege may be a burden, but it is an important responsibility. It was given to you for a purpose.
Next time someone asks you to check your privilege tell them that it would be unconscionable to waste such a precious resource and you will be exercising yours to the fullest.
Or you could have real fun with them and say, “What planet do YOU live on where a black dwarf has privilege???”
Or an innocent kitteh.
You could express solidarity anyway.
But I suppose it could lead to uncomfortable conversations.
There are shirts with texts and symbols in support of the State of Israel which make the point of civilization-against-Islam without professing any religious faith.
Birds will never see him.
Some of those rolls are mounted backwards!
Cute Chameleon Kittie.
“Or an innocent kitteh”
The. House of Commons is full of Catty B*st*rds , so a Kitten in a Box is cuter but just as damaging to a stray hand.
Hope cove, Devon.
It’s all about occidental privilege don’t you know. Underhand, overhand, as mood or needs strike us. It serves to set Maduro’s teeth on edge. Sent him the postcard version.
OTOH....Unusual heavy shuttling of Sea King traffic overhead today, very low. huh.....just now another.
Wouldn’t worry to much ,if it was something important like say, Lunch ,it would have a Fighter or Gunship escort.
Just practicing to move Barry’s Ego to a safe place in November.
918726354
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