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Ninja barn cats
Craigslist ^ | July 13, 2014 | Unknown

Posted on 07/17/2014 7:23:31 AM PDT by Twotone

Sometimes, you just have to be honest enough to admit when you need help.

I am finally willing to admit defeat in my war against the on-going squirrel/mouse/vole/gopher apocalypse, and start a search for highly qualified, experienced SEAL/Green Beret/Ranger/ Pararescue barn cats.

My front yard looks like the post Shock and Awe postcards from Baghdad, and there are more tunnels than the Viet Cong dug. The sound of rodent laughter keeps me awake at night.

(Excerpt) Read more at corvallis.craigslist.org ...


TOPICS: Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: advertisement; barncat; kittyping

1 posted on 07/17/2014 7:23:31 AM PDT by Twotone
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To: Slings and Arrows

Something for the kitty ping list...


2 posted on 07/17/2014 7:23:57 AM PDT by Twotone (Marte Et Clypeo)
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To: Twotone
This is a valid technique--I once lived in a house that became overrun by mice. I asked the landlord if I could bring in a barncat, and he said yes. Problem solved in the space of weeks.

I did feel sorry for the mice, though.

3 posted on 07/17/2014 7:26:15 AM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Twotone

Barn cats have to be tuff...


4 posted on 07/17/2014 7:27:19 AM PDT by freedumb2003 (AGW "Scientific method:" Draw your lines first, then plot your points)
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To: 1rudeboy
My Ninja Kitty... Montana 2012 photo Montana_IMG_7677-resize_zpsa2787537.jpg But she doesn't kill the mice. She brings them inside for entertainment.
5 posted on 07/17/2014 7:40:10 AM PDT by Twotone (Marte Et Clypeo)
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To: Twotone

My mercenary barncat would leave the mouse carcass in the exact same spot every night, so that when I woke up she got credit for the kill.


6 posted on 07/17/2014 7:41:35 AM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Twotone
ninja cat photo: ninja ninjas-demotivational-poster-124669.jpg
7 posted on 07/17/2014 7:42:32 AM PDT by Snickering Hound
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To: Twotone
We had BC. BC being short for Battle Cat. He was a Manx and definitely the meanest cat I've ever met. He killed everything that moved. Good barn cat.
8 posted on 07/17/2014 7:49:05 AM PDT by Mathews (Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV), Luke 22:36 (NIV))
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To: Twotone

Your cat looks just like mine did about

10 years ago.Today Blackie has a lot

of gray just like me.That cat loves to

go to the barn and get an unwary mouse.

My Jack Russell is amazing as far as

catching moles in the yard.Smart dog.


9 posted on 07/17/2014 7:50:01 AM PDT by Harold Shea
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To: Twotone

If you find the right kitty, he will even share the carcasses with you


10 posted on 07/17/2014 8:13:36 AM PDT by silverleaf (Age takes a toll: Please have exact change)
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To: Twotone

except maybe the squirrels
they are just as smart as kitties and move a lot faster and actually plan strategy and enjoy the battles
kitty will need partners to tag team the squirrels


11 posted on 07/17/2014 8:15:35 AM PDT by silverleaf (Age takes a toll: Please have exact change)
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To: Twotone

Why excerpt a craigslist ad?

- - - - - - -

Sometimes, you just have to be honest enough to admit when you need help.

I am finally willing to admit defeat in my war against the on-going squirrel/mouse/vole/gopher apocalypse, and start a search for highly qualified, experienced SEAL/Green Beret/Ranger/ Pararescue barn cats.

My front yard looks like the post Shock and Awe postcards from Baghdad, and there are more tunnels than the Viet Cong dug. The sound of rodent laughter keeps me awake at night.

My dog, Snorp, fell off the wagon, after confiding to me that he was beaten. Even as I write these words, he is on the front porch, awash in an ever-expanding pool of dog drool, tears, and the remnants of a half rack of incredibly cheap beer.

It’s time to import some talent to go Ninja on the vermin.

I’m looking for a couple barn cats.

The uglier, the better. No such thing as too many scars. Three or more legs preferred. Prior convictions, imprisonments or over-due library books will not disqualify any candidate with a solid, well-documented combat record.

Cats named “Fluffy”, “Princess”, “Missy”, or “Lester”, need not apply.

If you have a cat you’re afraid of, or one who has failed rehab several times—I’m interested.
If you have a cat that has worn out its welcome—I’m interested.
If your cat smokes, drinks and has morals lower than my Uncle Dexter—I’m interested
If you have a cat that thrives in a ‘target-rich’ environment—I’m really interested.

I’m desperate here Buckaroos. Give a brother a hand.

Squirt me and email. We’ll talk quantitative kill zones and kitty litter.


12 posted on 07/17/2014 8:24:12 AM PDT by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer.)
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To: Twotone

Too funny.

We have two that live in the barns and a couple we suspect do. The only thing they have not tackled is the skunk in what we call the horse barn though there are no horses there at all anymore since I won’t have a horse on the place.

They not only keep the vermin at bay in the barns they do a find job on gophers and other burrowers within a reasonable radius of the farmstead. Beyond that distance we have found that an ancient Nissan pickup, a shop vac hose and a piece of news paper work wonders in a nice winter pastime.

The cats do no good at pigeons that took roost in the machinery building though. The monthly starting of the diesels was extended to create a fog a couple of times and that did away with the pigeons and other fowl.


13 posted on 07/17/2014 8:28:43 AM PDT by Sequoyah101
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To: 1rudeboy

Too bad we haven’t/can’t domesticate barn OWLS.

They kill/eat about 10 times the mice that a cat does.


14 posted on 07/17/2014 8:31:59 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: Twotone

I have a slightly built black and white male cat named Archie that in one summer (we have short summers here) scored 109 chipmunks, moles, voles and mice (this one doesn’t do birds) and placed them all under the chair I keep outside, sometimes four a day. I kept a little scratch board scorecard beside the chair. He’s never had another summer like that, but he’s very, very good. My neighbors love it when he goes through their gardens and pops out with vermin and trots away with it in his jaws. His killer move is to toss the mouse straight up in the air and when it falls back he gives a kill bite. He’s a ninja - a very patient stalker.


15 posted on 07/17/2014 8:40:08 AM PDT by februus
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To: Twotone

He needs rat snakes.


16 posted on 07/17/2014 9:35:40 AM PDT by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, a Matter of Fact, Not a Matter of Opinion)
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To: Twotone; Slings and Arrows; Glenn; republicangel; Beaker; BADROTOFINGER; etabeta; asgardshill; ...

17 posted on 07/17/2014 10:10:59 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Twotone

Buckeye chickens are excellent mousers. They even lay medium-sized brown eggs and when older, a good meal.


18 posted on 07/17/2014 2:43:33 PM PDT by SatinDoll (A NATURAL BORN CITIZEN IS BORN IN THE US OF US CITIZEN PARENTS.)
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To: thackney

I have seen fully equipped barn cats beat up large dogs just for fun.


19 posted on 07/17/2014 5:22:39 PM PDT by alarm rider (Basically, we are toast.)
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To: MrB

Lost...Killer barn cat.
Description...three feet tall, fangs 3”,
Bad breath, not afraid of high tension lines
or fighter jets.
color green,
answers to name “Godzilla”.


20 posted on 07/17/2014 5:28:48 PM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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