The choices we make. Nobodies fault but your own.
Today is my daughters 18th birthday.......
I’m so glad that this is my last child support payment.
Month after month, year after year, those payments!
I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, “Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your Mama’s house; You tell her that this is the last check she’s ever going to get from me, then I want you to come back here and tell me the expression she had on her face.”
So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was so anxious to hear what the ex had to say and how she took it.
As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, “Well now .. what did she have to say?”
“She told me to tell you that you ain’t my Daddy.”
In the era of DNA, the child needs to know. It’s one of those secrets that can’t be kept anymore, and learning later on his/her own would be irreversibly devestating.
why would you post this from a Black rapper website??
what is the point?
Let the secret be your penance....you suffer and everyone else lives in peace...why spread the misery around.
As a husband and father, I wouldn't want to know. I would prefer to be blissfully ignorant.
If my wife 'fessed up something like this to me, I just don't think our family could ever recover from the hurt, anger and resentment that would ensue.
If the kid is only 2 years old, she has to “man up” and tell the husband, come what may. She may be afraid to do it but imagine the scenario where the kid is 16 or 17 or 20 and everyone still believes he is the father’s son. That would create so much more damage than telling the husband now. If she loves the child, she will tell the husband now.
(Btw, the same issue comes up — in an obviously different context — in adoption. One of my family members adopted a son, who is now 25, and never told him that he is adopted. They live in fear that he will find out one day and hate them for not telling him.)
Dear Anonymous,
Dishonesty already broke your whole family apart.
Your husband should get sole custody of his child.
That would leave you free to negotiate with the father of the other child for the expense of raising him/her.
The important thing for all three adults to remember is this, The Baby did nothing wrong and should not have to bear the brunt.
Imho, confessing to her husband would be a selfish act. This is her problem, and her penance is not making it her husband’s.
What a worthless wench to be in the advice industry. That married couple have children. Likee or no Likee - they have children who need their parents. Those children don’t know or care about DNA.
There is the other factor of their marriage having had a third party, assuming they had a religious marriage.
But, when nuts advise sluts, what difference does it make?
To the children, the quest for absolution will be both vain and destructive to the children. But the Slut wants to follow the advise of that nut - so who are we to say anything?
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Sadly, I've never married........But if I had, I would have never cheated on my wife......no matter what.
If I had found out she screwed my best friend, I would have simply packed my bags and moved out.........no argument, no yelling and screaming, no nothing.
There also would have been no reconcilliation, and no marital counseling...........
As for my ex-best friend, win or lose, at least I would have gotten in the first punch and left him something to remember for the rest of his life...........
Why isn’t she asking her if the best friend knows he has a child?
My advice to the stupid self destructive drama queen is to keep her stupid mouth shut and have a dna test done first. Maybe she’s right, but she could also be wrong because she’s wracked with guilt, fear and paranoia.
She could easily destroy her child’s relationship with her father over a phantasm created by guilt.
And then, if the test shows she’s right, she should still keep her stupid mouth shut and be the best wife and mother she can be in repentance.
What really matters is who is being the father to the child, not who donated the sperm.
Yes,you should...if you want him to divorce you and disown the child.Or worse.Think of it this way,sweetie.*He* informs *you* that he’s fathered a child with another woman while married to you.Would *you* be thrilled? Even slightly?
One thing to consider, as the child grows older, it could become obvious who the father really is. I know of a case where that actually happened.
Every day that the truth is not told, the wife is stealing from her husband and child. What is she stealing? Their right to make informed decisions, and their right to award her/ his friend with respect, trust and confidence based on the truth. She is taking from herself the ability to maintain an honest relationship, and it is already chipping away at her conscience.
Now visualize the conversation if a result came back which showed the child could not possibly be the kid of the official father.
It's better to 'fess up than to be found out.