If the kid is only 2 years old, she has to “man up” and tell the husband, come what may. She may be afraid to do it but imagine the scenario where the kid is 16 or 17 or 20 and everyone still believes he is the father’s son. That would create so much more damage than telling the husband now. If she loves the child, she will tell the husband now.
(Btw, the same issue comes up — in an obviously different context — in adoption. One of my family members adopted a son, who is now 25, and never told him that he is adopted. They live in fear that he will find out one day and hate them for not telling him.)
I agree he should be told now, as much for the child’s future as for the husband’s present; however, the marriage, even if it survives, will never be the same and there is a good chance it will not survive.
We have two adopted children. We are white, they are Chinese,
You have no idea how many people asked if we were going to tell them that they are adopted....