Posted on 04/09/2013 5:27:53 PM PDT by Darksheare
I just spent alot of time posting!
I see that, looks like you hit a small bump.
Pictured: Small Bump
What happened?
Well, someone set up us the bomb?
I'm serious!
Oh, well.. looks like your post got pulled.
Augh! I spent alot of effort on that! How did it happen?!
Couldn't be because you were doing it wrong?
What the, how'd you get that video of m-- uh.. I don't even wear that!
Right Skippy. *cough* Well, since you asked, here's how posts get removed.
First, if it is against TOS it gets seen.
Then it gets marked.
Okay, I have that much.
Then the mods gather:
Pictured, mods gathering.
I don't think that's how it looks, I..
Look, do you want an answer or not?
...Yes?
Right, carrying on.
Then they back their vehicle up to your post.
Whoah! What the heck is that thing?!
It's a machine, that eats other machines.
With this:
I don't see what this has to do with my post vanishing, can you tell me wha-
Watch it question boy! I have a flamethrower!
You want to vanish like your dog did?
What the?! No, not Roozer too!
To be fair, your dog WAS drunk.
What?! Who would even... please don't point that flamethrower at me.
Right, and after they saw your post off the entire forum, they set it on fire.
Wait.. that man. His face, and fire! Oh GOD WHY?!
Oh, HIS post was all about his face, so the mods set it on fire.
After that, they used the ashes to open a gate between our world and theirs, like this:
BLECH! That's horrible!
And those tentacles! GAAAH!
If you think that's bad, you should see what happens when the mods get their hands on a bad thread.
Pictured: Mod hands
Oh look, here comes a mod now.
Looks like they want to ask you about that thread you just posted.
Gaaah! Tell them I'm indisposed!
Pictured: Moderator, dunno which one.
Tell them yourself, they're right behind you.
Wait, don't run away!
We haven't gotten to what happens when they edit your thread title!
This concludes our sordid fictional tale.
If you liked that, we have plenty more in the book "Oh the horrible things you'll summon!" rumored to be written by IamnotaMod
In other news, today Thomas Katt and Jerome Mouse stepped out of retirement to decry the stereotypes they continue to face on Free Republic. While stopping short of taking legal action, their press release was a thinly veiled threat to a user named “Darksheare.” Said Mr. Mouse, “I’m sure Darksheare, whoever he or she may be, would not want to find his tongue suddenly chopped off by his own teeth, now would he?”
Not in this case. The sign says “Fire escape” and you go through the door and into a fire.
It’s not funny.
Ah, a door to let the fire itself escape, not for people to escape the fire.
Yes, because all the people in the room carry water sprayers.
Thanks!
That poor fire, no wonder it wants to escape.
It’s its own fault. It wanted to get away from the kids. Then it found out “out of the frying pan ...” Oh, wait, that doesn’t work.
Left abandoned on a computer desk and forced to fend for itself, the lonely camera whiled away the hours filling its memory card with random bits remembered from when it was loved... ;-)
Ummm... welcome to the Right side of the country Face!
Out of the light drizzle, into the deluge.
What Darks didn't mention is that when Autoredact 'fixes' your otherwise correct epistle, you must post it with the really weird Autoredact 'fixes' so as to provide a chuckle (or three..) to the rest of us...
That wouldn't be Cricket...
I should create a joke app called ‘Autocorrupt’ that demolishes your missives into horrible typo’d kludges.
No need to do that. The current iteration does that just fine...
I am a joke app. When posting on the UT I have my annoying attribute set as well.
In case anyone still lurking on this incarnation of the UT is commuting distance from Gotham, “The Cross and The Switchblade” will again be performed tomorrow at Times Square Church at 51st and Broadway. Admission is free, but only those 29 and under (A youth group is 29 and under? Seriously?) sit in the theater. All others watch on video screens in various overflow rooms.
Guaranteed to be a good time, even if I am only in it for 2min, 23 seconds or thereabouts.
Yes, but it usually uses the correct spelling of things.
MY creation would make “thing” become “thign” and so on.
Spaces would be misplaced, “the” becomes “teh”, “more” becomes “mroe”.
It would be gloriously weevil.
The Audit
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said:
“I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”
“Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.”What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.”
“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?”
“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year, they send us a complete prick.”
THAT’s a keeper.
Tone upon a wime in a coreign funtry there lived a geautiful birl whose name was Rindercella.
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