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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 03/15/2013 5:42:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadnt rolled itself outside. It certainly hadnt killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadnt even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and its the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well Im off to check on my spoons. I hear theyre making people fat.
(This is meant to make a point, not to be a literal representation of events. No gun was actually left unattended, just as no spoons were actually checked on. If you cannot grasp this, then you are more dense than the metal the gun is made from. Thank you.)
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: guns; insanity; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: r-q-tek86
It’s so close to water that water sued Michelob.
To: Allegra
202
posted on
03/15/2013 10:23:09 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Piffle....)
To: Old Sarge
Sarge, will you please FReepmail the links to the deleted pictures to Cyber Liberty? I’d like to get in on that, too.
203
posted on
03/15/2013 10:23:21 AM PDT
by
acad1228
(OKC Thunder!!!!)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
And define beer.
204
posted on
03/15/2013 10:24:25 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: Cyber Liberty; Lady Jag
Lady Jag is very talented. Her graphics and gifs are nothing short of amazing. She’s the best.
To: envisio
Dammit, I told you not to tell anyone about the midget porn!!
206
posted on
03/15/2013 10:25:41 AM PDT
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
To: r-q-tek86
207
posted on
03/15/2013 10:26:22 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: TheOldLady; Lady Jag
Lady Jag is very talented. Her graphics and gifs are nothing short of amazing. Shes the best.I remember her, I just wanted to know if it was the same "Lady"
208
posted on
03/15/2013 10:27:02 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers; envisio
You’re sooo busted! ZriconEncrustedTweezers!
To: envisio
210
posted on
03/15/2013 10:27:39 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: r-q-tek86
I won't be bringing beer, then, but I will bring this instead:
211
posted on
03/15/2013 10:27:42 AM PDT
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
To: TheOldLady
Old ladies can die laughing, you know. I'd rather die laughing than living crying. (hooo. that's heavy, dude)
212
posted on
03/15/2013 10:30:34 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
I have two favorite beers... Guinness and free
213
posted on
03/15/2013 10:32:53 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
214
posted on
03/15/2013 10:36:44 AM PDT
by
Berlin_Freeper
(http://userstyles.org/users/180132)
215
posted on
03/15/2013 10:39:23 AM PDT
by
Berlin_Freeper
(http://userstyles.org/users/180132)
To: acad1228
If I ever get them I’ll send them on to you. If I ever get them.
216
posted on
03/15/2013 10:40:04 AM PDT
by
Cyber Liberty
(I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
To: llevrok; Lazamataz
Crying’s not so bad. It always lifts my spirits. And you’re so cute! But don’t call me “dude.” Only Lazamataz is allowed to do that. ;-)
To: Lucky9teen
Hahaha, I have my “multifocal” contacts in and that picture keeps switching on me between Albert and Marilyn. I thought I was starting to “transition.”
218
posted on
03/15/2013 10:45:27 AM PDT
by
CSM
(Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
To: llevrok
God Bless your fam and the good guys with guns. :)
219
posted on
03/15/2013 10:46:02 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
(The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
To: Daffynition
Father ; Was it Mary Margret?
Boy: No, the girl I slept with was some one else
Father : Well then was it Peggy Callahan?
Boy: I’ll never tell, Father.
Father: Alright then Thomas, Say three hail Mary’s
Later -
Sean - So how’d confession go with Father Flannigan. He can be TOUGH!
Thomas: Not bad actually. I got off with three hail mary’s and found us a couple of dates for Saturday night !
220
posted on
03/15/2013 10:48:22 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
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