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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 03/15/2013 5:42:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen



Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.

(This is meant to make a point, not to be a literal representation of events. No gun was actually left unattended, just as no spoons were actually checked on. If you cannot grasp this, then you are more dense than the metal the gun is made from. Thank you.)








TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: guns; insanity; ofst; silliness
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To: envisio

I used to travel to Japan on business. After a few days there, I never farted (which is a real oddity for me!!)


141 posted on 03/15/2013 9:08:16 AM PDT by llevrok (Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
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To: absolootezer0
if you aren't catholic, you should go with one of the mossy oak blaze oranges.

My kids have some Huguenot and Northern Irish in them. I tell them every St. Patrick's Day to wear something orange and if someone tries to pinch them start a holy war.

142 posted on 03/15/2013 9:09:21 AM PDT by Pan_Yan (I love it when spell check selects every single word in my post.)
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To: absolootezer0

“...what good is a steak without some grilled asparagus...”

Your yankee blood is showing again. A baked tater with half pound of butter is required for a steak. But for other vegambles I like to grill some squash and bell peppers on a skewer.

Besides, what you call a grilled steak, most people call ‘still alive’. You don’t need a grill. Just hold it up and light a match under it. When the match goes out, its done.


143 posted on 03/15/2013 9:10:05 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: absolootezer0

What is don’t understand is how she says they smell so bad. I tell her the air is sweet and fragrant.

She calls it the Bog of Eternal Stench.


144 posted on 03/15/2013 9:10:14 AM PDT by fredhead (I'm not losing my hair, it's just retired and relocating further south.)
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To: envisio

Steak is another thing that we don’t see eye to eye on. I like mine a little bloody, she likes hers beef jerky.

“My proctologist, he the only man I see eye to eye with!!” -Rodney Dangerfield


145 posted on 03/15/2013 9:13:08 AM PDT by fredhead (I'm not losing my hair, it's just retired and relocating further south.)
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To: Arrowhead1952; Old Sarge; ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Awww... Who complained? You couldn’t actually see anything that was really bad.

The post actually got pulled just as I was trying to get the first gif to post. I got to see the gif before the whole post was pulled. That skinny little gal needs to get a grip, literally.

Sometimes if you select around and including where the pic is supposed to be, then hit “view selection source” and click on the link that didn’t post, when you return to the thread and refresh, the picture will come up. Sometimes.

When I refreshed, the whole thing was gone. :(


146 posted on 03/15/2013 9:15:02 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: TheOldLady

“You couldn’t actually see anything that was really bad.”

True, but it led me to impure thoughts. ;)


147 posted on 03/15/2013 9:17:28 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
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To: envisio
And I thought we were talkin' 'bout kids with guns. Go figure.


148 posted on 03/15/2013 9:17:40 AM PDT by Daffynition (The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
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To: ArGee

On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.

He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish .

I said to him, “You dumb sh*t! - You’re supposed to turn your clock back”.


149 posted on 03/15/2013 9:17:52 AM PDT by llevrok (Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
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To: absolootezer0

Ah... I love Guinness. Guinness is good for you.


150 posted on 03/15/2013 9:18:10 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Hell a picture of a nun would lead to impure thoughts with this crew today.


151 posted on 03/15/2013 9:19:05 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: Daffynition

Great picture.

Its pictures like that that restores my hope for America.


152 posted on 03/15/2013 9:20:27 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: envisio

That’s a little too kinky for my tastes...


153 posted on 03/15/2013 9:24:15 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
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To: N. Theknow
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

And then the fight started...

154 posted on 03/15/2013 9:24:23 AM PDT by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: TheOldLady

I asked sarge to FReepmail me the link, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. :^(


155 posted on 03/15/2013 9:25:39 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
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To: humblegunner

Ping to #103.


156 posted on 03/15/2013 9:30:38 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: envisio
Just hold it up and light a match under it. When the match goes out, its done.

One of those "Eat what you want and ride the rest home" kind of things?

157 posted on 03/15/2013 9:32:44 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: envisio

Thank you.

This little one had the good composure to answer the pediatrician, when he asked *If there were any guns in the house?* She said, *Not that I would notice.*

Later she told me, she thought about being afraid someone would come and get her gun. It saddens me to have to talk to an 8 y/o that there are people out there who want to take our guns away, b/c they are afraid. But that is what it has come down to.


158 posted on 03/15/2013 9:33:26 AM PDT by Daffynition (The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers; ArGee
True, but it led me to impure thoughts

I don't know you, my FRiend, but from what I have observed, it was not a long journey.

... oh... and bring beer next time... ArGee and I get thirsty...

159 posted on 03/15/2013 9:36:58 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
Line forms on the right...we will commence hearing confessions in 7 minutes. :)


160 posted on 03/15/2013 9:37:39 AM PDT by Daffynition (The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
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