***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.

(This is meant to make a point, not to be a literal representation of events. No gun was actually left unattended, just as no spoons were actually checked on. If you cannot grasp this, then you are more dense than the metal the gun is made from. Thank you.)

[llevrok]

My favorite Irish joke

I used to work as an salesman in international markets. Doing lots and lots of travel, I soon found that hotel restaurants were “sterile” and did not give you a sense of who the people were or local culture was. So I’d seek out a small cafe or neighborhood bar and strike up a chat.

One time I was in Dublin. To go there and not find a pub and a Guinness would be heresy. So into a “local” I went and order an ale. While talking tp the bar man, I could help but over hear a increasingly loud conversation between two guys at the e=other end of the bar -

Paddy1 : So what town are ya from?

Paddy2: Dublin, how about you?

Paddy1: I grew up in Dublin too. Did ya ever hear of St Mary’s Parish?

Paddy2: St Mary’s!! And the school!!! Bejesus! I grew up there. And I don’t suppose you had Sister Mary Margaret for grade primary?

(They were getting really loud with excitement now)

Paddy1: Aye. And did you ever get paddled by Father Flynn for talking in catechism?

(the excitement continued to grow as did their voices)

About this time, my curiosity got the better of me. So I asked the barman

Me: So what’s with those two? They sure seem excited that they have so much in common.

Barman: (without looking up from drawing another ale) Them two? Or it’s just the Flannigan twins. Drunk again!

[absolootezer0]

it's never too early to start.. is it?

[Cyber Liberty]

I guess not. Hey Sarge, can you FReepmail me the link to that picture everybody’s talking about?

[r-q-tek86]

I want a hat like that.

[llevrok]

At an Olympia Wa bar

[llevrok]

Do you know how the hipster burned his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

[BenLurkin]

Ghandi versus MLK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6G6CZT7h4k (WARNING languge)

Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ1Mz7kGVf0

(The guy playing Edison remins me of JUanMcCain)

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

I had a hunch they would find it objectionable. And I stared at for several minutes, just to be absolutely sure. :)

[envisio]

http://www.halloweencostumes.com/guinness-hat.html

[ArGee]

Q: How can you tell when an Irishman's drunk? (select the whitespace below with your mouse to see the answer)

A: I wouldn't know. I've never seen any other kind to identify the difference.

[BenLurkin]

MY FORTUNE COOKIES SAYS:

[r-q-tek86]

[BenLurkin]

[ArGee]

[BenLurkin]

[BenLurkin]

[envisio]

I didn’t know storm trooper spoke with a lisp.

[BenLurkin]

[JoeProBono]

[BenLurkin]