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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 03/15/2013 5:42:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadnt rolled itself outside. It certainly hadnt killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadnt even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and its the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well Im off to check on my spoons. I hear theyre making people fat.
(This is meant to make a point, not to be a literal representation of events. No gun was actually left unattended, just as no spoons were actually checked on. If you cannot grasp this, then you are more dense than the metal the gun is made from. Thank you.)
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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: guns; insanity; ofst; silliness
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To: envisio
I used to travel to Japan on business. After a few days there, I never farted (which is a real oddity for me!!)
141
posted on
03/15/2013 9:08:16 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
To: absolootezer0
if you aren't catholic, you should go with one of the mossy oak blaze oranges.My kids have some Huguenot and Northern Irish in them. I tell them every St. Patrick's Day to wear something orange and if someone tries to pinch them start a holy war.
142
posted on
03/15/2013 9:09:21 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
(I love it when spell check selects every single word in my post.)
To: absolootezer0
“...what good is a steak without some grilled asparagus...”
Your yankee blood is showing again. A baked tater with half pound of butter is required for a steak. But for other vegambles I like to grill some squash and bell peppers on a skewer.
Besides, what you call a grilled steak, most people call ‘still alive’. You don’t need a grill. Just hold it up and light a match under it. When the match goes out, its done.
143
posted on
03/15/2013 9:10:05 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: absolootezer0
What is don’t understand is how she says they smell so bad. I tell her the air is sweet and fragrant.
She calls it the Bog of Eternal Stench.
144
posted on
03/15/2013 9:10:14 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(I'm not losing my hair, it's just retired and relocating further south.)
To: envisio
Steak is another thing that we don’t see eye to eye on. I like mine a little bloody, she likes hers beef jerky.
“My proctologist, he the only man I see eye to eye with!!” -Rodney Dangerfield
145
posted on
03/15/2013 9:13:08 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(I'm not losing my hair, it's just retired and relocating further south.)
To: Arrowhead1952; Old Sarge; ZirconEncrustedTweezers
Awww... Who complained? You couldn’t actually see anything that was really bad.
The post actually got pulled just as I was trying to get the first gif to post. I got to see the gif before the whole post was pulled. That skinny little gal needs to get a grip, literally.
Sometimes if you select around and including where the pic is supposed to be, then hit “view selection source” and click on the link that didn’t post, when you return to the thread and refresh, the picture will come up. Sometimes.
When I refreshed, the whole thing was gone. :(
To: TheOldLady
“You couldnt actually see anything that was really bad.”
True, but it led me to impure thoughts. ;)
147
posted on
03/15/2013 9:17:28 AM PDT
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
To: envisio
And I thought we were talkin' 'bout kids with guns. Go figure.
148
posted on
03/15/2013 9:17:40 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
(The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
To: ArGee
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.
He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish .
I said to him, “You dumb sh*t! - You’re supposed to turn your clock back”.
149
posted on
03/15/2013 9:17:52 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(Keep your arms out. It makes it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
To: absolootezer0
Ah... I love Guinness. Guinness is good for you.
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
Hell a picture of a nun would lead to impure thoughts with this crew today.
151
posted on
03/15/2013 9:19:05 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: Daffynition
Great picture.
Its pictures like that that restores my hope for America.
152
posted on
03/15/2013 9:20:27 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: envisio
That’s a little too kinky for my tastes...
153
posted on
03/15/2013 9:24:15 AM PDT
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
To: N. Theknow
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."And then the fight started...
154
posted on
03/15/2013 9:24:23 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
To: TheOldLady
I asked sarge to FReepmail me the link, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. :^(
155
posted on
03/15/2013 9:25:39 AM PDT
by
Cyber Liberty
(I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
To: humblegunner
To: envisio
Just hold it up and light a match under it. When the match goes out, its done.One of those "Eat what you want and ride the rest home" kind of things?
157
posted on
03/15/2013 9:32:44 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: envisio
Thank you.
This little one had the good composure to answer the pediatrician, when he asked *If there were any guns in the house?* She said, *Not that I would notice.*
Later she told me, she thought about being afraid someone would come and get her gun. It saddens me to have to talk to an 8 y/o that there are people out there who want to take our guns away, b/c they are afraid. But that is what it has come down to.
158
posted on
03/15/2013 9:33:26 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
(The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers; ArGee
True, but it led me to impure thoughtsI don't know you, my FRiend, but from what I have observed, it was not a long journey.
... oh... and bring beer next time... ArGee and I get thirsty...
159
posted on
03/15/2013 9:36:58 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
Line forms on the right...we will commence hearing confessions in 7 minutes. :)
160
posted on
03/15/2013 9:37:39 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
(The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
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