Posted on 01/13/2012 4:40:35 PM PST by A'elian' nation
Breaking News - Roger Goodell has just announced that the Denver Broncos will only have ten men in the lineup in tomorrow’s playoff game with the New England Patriots. Goodell says that 43% of the public believes that God is helping Tebow. That being the case, Goodell has declared God as Denver’s eleventh player on the field. Not only is this shattering news just breaking, but NFL headquarters has released a transcript of the top level meeting between Goodell, Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots, and John Elway of the Denver Broncos.
Transcript follows:
Kraft: Look Roger, there is something fundamentally unfair when our team has to compete against not only all the players on the Bronco’s bench but God Almighty too !
Elway: Now, Bob, don’t get over dramatic. Aren’t you just being a bit ridiculous?
Kraft: Ridiculous? You call 316 passing yards ridiculous? 31.6 average yards per toss ridiculous? The HailMaryious Pass ridiculous? The Mile High Halo ridiculous? There is something more than just strange coincidences going on here.
Goodell: What are you suggesting we do here, Bob?
Kraft: I want you to take one man out of their lineup. It’s only fair.
Elway: What! So God is only equal to one ignoramus football player? Why not just put Tebow out there all by himself?
Kraft: Well, he needs someone to hike him the ball.
Elway: How about someone to catch it?
Kraft: Ok, we’ll give you Eric Decker.
Elway: He’s got a busted knee, you idiot!
Kraft: What, Tebow doesn’t do Laying on of Hands?
Goodell: Ok, break it up. I know it’s my responsibility to have a fair game tomorrow. The last thing I want is another Immaculate Reception. I still haven’t gotten over the Miracle at the Meadowlands, or the Helmet Catch, Frank Reich’s miracle comebacks - twice mind you, Staubach’s Hail Mary, the Music City Miracle, The Catch, and, oh my God, then there was The Drive! Look John, you got to admit there have been some strange happenings for the Broncos.
Elway: You’re calling The Drive miraculous? You sorry ass, I worked my butt off . . .
Goodell: Ok Ok. But I had $10,000 on the Cleveland Browns in that game. I got to do something about these miracles. It’s fundamentally unfair. I’m taking one man out of your lineup, John, and drafting God.
Elway: But the game isn’t even on a Sunday! He might have other plans on a Saturday night.
Goodell: That’s my ruling. If you don’t like it take it to the Supreme Court.
Elway: Which One ?
Gee..is that suppose to be cute? The word fail comes to mind.
God loves them (and us) all.
Those who pray and praise him don’t bring God any closer to the one in prayer, but does bring the one in prayer closer to God.
If G-d is in the lineup then the Patriots just better forfeit the game and go home.
Hey, c t!
You psyched for the game?
We will be a divided home tomorrow night - I’ll be Tebowing whilst hub will be worshipping at the Bellycheck altar...
let the popcorn fly!!!!
Good luck...gin
Yep. Good bet. Brady can play in snow, I think...
Yes He does in whatever serves His purposes in victory or defeat. Go Broncos.
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