How fitting.......It's POULTRY DAY!!
Posted on 03/19/2010 5:18:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Edited on 03/19/2010 10:42:01 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
Most famous Chicken: Looney Tune's Foghorn leghorn. Although Republicans are coming in as a close second.
Chicken Philosophy: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
Zeb's favorite rooster was old Barack. A very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Barack's bell had not rung at all!!
Zeb went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Barack had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Zeb was so proud of Barack that he entered him in the county fair. Barack was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pullet surprise.
JOE BIDEN: This is the first mainstream chicken that is articulate and bright and clean and has a nice-looking pullet.
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let's not talk about that, let's talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! – that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken...What is your definition of crossing?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain... alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Pingaling
I once made a post that mentioned both KFC and watermelon.
It got pulled.
I think there is some law against both being in the same pic or post.
[Political correctness is rapidly killing us.]
| Your Power Bird is an Eagle |
 You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance. And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you're worth it. People know that you will become even greater than you imagine. |
| Your Power Bird is a Swan |
 You easily see beauty in yourself and others. Intuitive and in touch, you can often guess what the future will bring. And you're flexible enough to accept the changes that life has in store for you. |
Just so I have this straight:
Monkey Face is “a truly graceful and gorgeous creature.”
Well let’s see what happens to the picture of King 0 with watermelon, chicken and Colt 45.
Warning! Due to overfeeding some pigeons can become aggressive!
Last Friday morning I walked into work and was handed the security report from overnight. I have copied it here verbatum for your enjoyment:
At approximately 0135 am hours, I witnessed, as it were small amounts of people existing the condominiums building. Initially, I thought that some group was trying to be accommodated for the evening- or perhaps a bus came touring the area and stopped at the condominiums. Quite, to my surprise the small number of people aggregated on the condominium periphery, manifested into swarm or sea of humanity; it was then readily obvious that that something was wrong. Soon, there was the sound of Fire sirens and masses grew in number almost within minutes. Then it occurred that this congregation, made up of both people and their pets was nothing more than accountability count to make sure all were safe and secure. The incident spilled over into our building- in that a woman was a bit cool and requested to sit in the lobby area until the fiery trial was rectified. She only stayed a short period of time and asked to read a left over newspaper in her leisure until the masses were permitted back to varied areas of abode. The incident de-escalated as the people were recalled and conclusions were as arbitrary as one could be left to his/her fickle imagination. The account manager was contacted.
Nothing follows.
GSGE
A. Scrambled eggs!
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