Posted on 02/11/2010 12:16:54 PM PST by HamiltonJay
I am looking to collect some dumb sayings for a project, so if can you please take a minute to send me the dumbest or silliest thing a superior or boss has said to you at work, (any job, not just here, and no don't name names).
Nothing that requires a backstory to it, just simple one or two sentence statements that you have been told over the years that in and of themselves have made you shake your head, stare at them in awe, spit your coke out your nose, or whatever.
Thanks
I had an engineer ask me how to fix a flashlight.
One of our EE profs had a tie like that; shortened with a straight cut.
He’d been leaning over one of his lasers when it fired.
You must have sent that one in to Scott Adams.
During college, I worked for a co-op/farmer’s union place.
Stupidity instance #1:
Whenever the main gas station would raise their fuel price $0.01, our manager would raise his by $0.01, so we were always $0.03 lower. The main gas station was in the center of town, a convenience store, video rental place, and the hub of the community.
I asked the manager, “Why don’t you just leave our price lower when they jack theirs up? Don’t you think it might cause some of the customers to drive the extra distance?”
“No, we’d lose to much income.”
Instance 2:
Same company, my direct supervisor was actually a few years younger than I. His Dad had gotten him the job, and managed several co-ops around the area. My friend and I were running ourselves ragged, working multiple jobs, putting ourselves through college.
“Why are you bothering to go to college?” he asked, “Look at me: straight out of high school, and I’m making $23,000/year!”
He spent two years ridiculing my friend and I.
The next several years after I graduated, I worked for a bit, went independent, and increased my business, and went and found him in the town bar he would always frequent.
First job after graduation: “I’m making $10K more you make.”
First year: “I’m making double your salary.”
Second year: “I doubled my salary again— what’s that, four times yours now?”
Third year: “I doubled my salary again.”
He finally told me to stop talking to him.
A lot of places, you’re lucky to get any one.
Company Christmas party was moved from being at work on company time to at work over lunch to being off site after 5 in a bar. I declined, due to needing to pick up kids from sitter and budget.
At my decline, was challenged as to why I was declining a company event.
Our boss had a staff meeting. We were a technical division in a very large insurance company, mostly professionals.
He solemnly explained that we were being asked to list ideas on how to cut our division budget 40%.
I said “No problem. Just fire 40% of the people around this table.”
Boss might have been Irish, in which case the question was valid for all kinds of reasons.
In H.S. my best friend was getting chewed out by his dad for doing something. I was just sitting on the couch waiting for it to be done so we could leave.
Finally my friends dad exclaimed, “Son of a bitch!”
My friend responded out of reflex, “Well you married her!”
We both bolted for the door.
When working as an engineer, the last supervisor I ever had, after I uncovered a bad configuration on a gas recycle meter, said “Who can we blame?”. Huh? Not can it be fixed, but who can we pin the error on? So, in my next evaluation I get the “you don’t fit the mold” comment. Nope. I sure don’t.
Umm-- "on-call" means I'm ready to jump up and run off when needed-- leisure time is when I don't have to do that, like when I'm at home...
priceless. rofl
“We lose money on every unit, but we’ll make it up in high-volume sales.” (!)
She said, “You need a good dildo.” She’s now a senior VP. Go figure.
I was already a manager when the state of Cal went into collective bargaining. One year the unions got a pay raise and the managers did not, meaning many first line supervisors got the same pay as their subbordinates, who were represented. When I asked our director if this would be rectified soon, he said ‘The governor will take care of us.” I’m still shaking my head 25 years later.
How long did they have you peel potatoes ?
What part of Africa was she from ?
It’s not you. It’s me.
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