Vanity - Should I allow my 22 year-old stepson have his girlfriend sleepover?

[Retired Greyhound]

Dear Fellow FReepers, moral clarity needed.

My stepson just graduated from college and has moved back home.

Twice now I have woken up to find them both sleeping in his bed.

I don't like it, but my wife doesn't have a huge problem with it, since they have been dating almost a year. However, she says she will back me up on it.

Am I being reasonable? I am planning on nipping it in the bud tonight, but just wanted to run it by my fellow FReepers.

Thank you.

[Sacajaweau]

If you're uncomfortable...nip it....

Actually, YOUR 22 year old shouldn't have puit you in this position..Because now you're into: How come it was alright last week?? Is this your son's pattern??

[GeronL]

Ouch.

Definitely your rules then. At least charge him rent, that way it becomes his “apartment”. Would that help you, at least a little, morally?

[Retired Greyhound]

I am a Christian, so of course it runs counter.

[Gerish]

It is your house, your rules. Decide what you want and be consistent, do not make exceptions.

[thefactor]

if he ain't payin rent, then he has no say in the affairs of the house.

but i'll tell you this: they will still do what they will do. they'll just make sure to be in separate beds by the time the rest of the house wakes up.

[Guyin4Os]

Several clues indicate that this has been a problem long before now.
Its time to start running your own home. Man up! :)

[MamaTexan]

Am I being reasonable? I am planning on nipping it in the bud tonight, but just wanted to run it by my fellow FReepers.

Put me under the 'your house, your rules' column.

There is no reason you should be uncomfortable in your own home. As much as kids might try to float the 'it's my house, too' line, YOU and your wife paid for it, so only you get to decide the rules.

Let us know how it turns out. :-)

[tgusa]

Until he starts paying room & board (i.e. is no longer freeloading) he hasn’t a case. Jobs are available out there although maybe not up to his expectations, being a recent college grad. Last I heard, the military was hiring, too.

[Retired Greyhound]

I think you are doing the right thing.

[PGR88]

Face it - they are likely already having “relations” so I suggest

- remind yr. son of your own moral position, your house rules, and potential consequences of him and his girlfriend being together. 21 year olds don’t often think steps ahead.
- if you don’t approve, tell him so.

Kids don’t need parents to be “buddies” they need Parents to be PARENTS. In a few years, he will be glad for the guidance you gave him.

[Travis T. OJustice]

While I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it, it’s your house, and your rules.

Yep, same here.

[Yooperman]

Not only NO, HELL NO.

[BPMOU]

Here is my .02. I am a 29 year old male, who's mother really didn't care much about what I did, or at least not enough to say anything about it.

I am now a few years older, and here is my take on it. I should have never put my mom in that position. If I am old enough to choose to make those decisions I am old enough to live in my own home where it isn't an issue.

I know the economy sucks, and you may be helping out your son by letting him live with you, but he shouldn't be allowed to play house in your house. It was tough to hear when I was that age, but now I see the importance of the lesson.

I came to know the Lord a couple of years after that, and I had a person in my family mention the things that I used to do, and it stung to hear it, but more importantly, I wasn't honoring and respecting my mom by my actions.

Hope this helps.

B

[dubie]

I would not allow it... let them shack up somewhere else. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. Your condoning fornication.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

what would Jesus do?

;)

[my_pointy_head_is_sharp]

By some of the responses here, I wonder if I'm even on a conservative forum.

That you even have to ask.

Do you see how liberalism has poisoned us all?

[Mr. Jazzy]

Kick his sorry ass out and make him get his OWN place for a “screw shack”! Tell his girl friend, “Suzie Rotten Krotch” to hit the bricks, too!

God I HATE parasites!!!

[netmilsmom]

>>He is just using her, and someone needs to show her some respect. It will be me.<<

You are a fine man.
Tell him that if she stays in his bed, he is to take the couch.

I wouldn’t kick her out of a bed but he needs to be elsewhere.

[MamaTexan]

That should have been “when my dad’s mother”... (should have proof read better).

Whew! Glad you clarified that. I was really confused, LOL!

[MarineBrat]

Your house, your rules. Surprise him with a gift of new luggage.

[Retired Greyhound]

Even if he paid rent, it would not help me. I think he is doing himself a disservice. He is also doing the gf a disservice because I believe he is just dating her for convienience.