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Vanity - Should I allow my 22 year-old stepson have his girlfriend sleepover?

Posted on 06/18/2009 9:30:34 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound

Dear Fellow FReepers, moral clarity needed.

My stepson just graduated from college and has moved back home.

Twice now I have woken up to find them both sleeping in his bed.

I don't like it, but my wife doesn't have a huge problem with it, since they have been dating almost a year. However, she says she will back me up on it.

Am I being reasonable? I am planning on nipping it in the bud tonight, but just wanted to run it by my fellow FReepers.

Thank you.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: moralabsolutes
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To: r9etb

I do anticipate my wife to get cold feet when I lay down the law, but I’m not worried about that. I have to do what is right.

I only asked FR for my own validation, and I have it.

Thank you all.


101 posted on 06/18/2009 9:57:00 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
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To: Retired Greyhound

Just say no. Make them sneak around like the rest of us did. Nothing encourages marriage so much as sneaking around.


102 posted on 06/18/2009 9:57:28 AM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Retired Greyhound

It’s your house and therefore your rules.

The using part is distasteful.

I’m leaning “No” but you’ll have to deal with this many years later.


103 posted on 06/18/2009 9:57:42 AM PDT by JBR34
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To: Nam Vet

Exactly. I know he is going to sleep with her. Proably sneaks her into the house when I’m at work.

I can live with that because at least he is being respectful enough not to throw it in my face.

At least have the decency to break the rules behind my back than do it in my face.


104 posted on 06/18/2009 9:58:54 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
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To: napscoordinator

I do plan on asking him if he plans to marry her. If not, than he has no business using her.


105 posted on 06/18/2009 9:59:48 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
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To: justlurking

If a kid trumps your ace by moving out, fine. If he never sees you again over this, let him be your guest. Blackmail over these issues should not be allowed. Any kid to abandons and cuts off his parents over an issue like this is a bad bad kid.

I don’t mean he has to be mean to the kid. Just a nice, “no can do” works. No lectures, etc. Just no.


106 posted on 06/18/2009 10:00:04 AM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: PowderMonkey

That’s what I told my wife last night. “So I’m providing the bed for him to boink her on. Should I buy his condoms, too?”

She laughed.


107 posted on 06/18/2009 10:00:32 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
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To: Retired Greyhound

That is fantastic. Good luck!


108 posted on 06/18/2009 10:00:49 AM PDT by napscoordinator
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To: cajungirl

BINGO! Thank you.


109 posted on 06/18/2009 10:01:54 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
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To: Retired Greyhound

Tell them to “get a room.”

Someplace else.


110 posted on 06/18/2009 10:02:35 AM PDT by Travis McGee (---www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com---)
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To: Retired Greyhound

Your house, your rules. If it is a violation of your moral standards he doesn’t get to sleep with her in your house if they aren’t married. My parents and grandparents had the same standards and I cannot imagine having shown them disrespect by going against their wishes.


111 posted on 06/18/2009 10:02:36 AM PDT by mouse_35
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To: Retired Greyhound

Of course not! If you need moral clarity with this,
I fear your problems are far bigger.


112 posted on 06/18/2009 10:03:37 AM PDT by aMorePerfectUnion
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To: Carley
The stepdad has a right to make his case but it’s a bit late to enforce the new rule.

I think that's BS. He's 22. He seems to be acting like he is still in high school with no responsibilities. He's out of college. He can get a job, earn his own money, get his own place to live.

If he can't handle 'new' rules - and fact is, he knows it is bothering his step-dad - then move out. And if he cries to mommy, then he is proving he is using his step-dad just for free roof over his head.

As uncomfortable as it might be because he is not 'his' son, it is HIS HOME. Man up and have some tough love. Might be best in the long-term.

113 posted on 06/18/2009 10:04:36 AM PDT by MaestroLC ("Let him who wants peace prepare for war."--Vegetius, A.D. Fourth Century)
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To: aMorePerfectUnion

Thanks. Sadly, I was starting to have some doubts. I kept hearing about how “he’s 22, she’s a steady girlfriend, etc.”

But I know in my heart it is not the right thing to do.


114 posted on 06/18/2009 10:05:21 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
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To: Retired Greyhound

Your house. Your rules.


115 posted on 06/18/2009 10:06:45 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (III)
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To: Retired Greyhound

The first time I found a boy in my daugher’s room, I allowed him to call his parents for a ride home. After that, any one found where they shouldn’t be was just RUN out the front door... You HAVE to stand on your principles! My son has had his ONLY polite removal from my home...and he knows it. The rules are the rules!


116 posted on 06/18/2009 10:08:05 AM PDT by RebelTXRose
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To: Retired Greyhound

Unless he is paying rent, it’s your house, your space, your rules.


117 posted on 06/18/2009 10:08:08 AM PDT by irishtenor (Beer. God's way of making sure the Irish don't take over the world.)
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To: Retired Greyhound

Thanks, RG.


118 posted on 06/18/2009 10:08:58 AM PDT by Mr. Jazzy (No greater friend, no worse enemy -The United States Marine Corps.)
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To: Retired Greyhound

You might point out to the girfriend that the last thing she wants is to be pregnant and living with a guy who’s not yet ready to leave the nest.


119 posted on 06/18/2009 10:08:59 AM PDT by LongElegantLegs (Oh, pipe down, Cecilia!)
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To: Retired Greyhound
Your house, your rules.

My parents and the parent of the girl I dated all through high school and a year and a half of college never had a problem with either of us staying at either home for the evening or even several days at a time.

Hell, half the time we never made it to the bedroom. We just went at it right there in the living room or basement.

I'm kidding. Maybe.

120 posted on 06/18/2009 10:09:56 AM PDT by Phantom Lord (Fall on to your knees for the Phantom Lord)
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