Posted on 06/18/2009 9:30:34 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
I do anticipate my wife to get cold feet when I lay down the law, but I’m not worried about that. I have to do what is right.
I only asked FR for my own validation, and I have it.
Thank you all.
Just say no. Make them sneak around like the rest of us did. Nothing encourages marriage so much as sneaking around.
It’s your house and therefore your rules.
The using part is distasteful.
I’m leaning “No” but you’ll have to deal with this many years later.
Exactly. I know he is going to sleep with her. Proably sneaks her into the house when I’m at work.
I can live with that because at least he is being respectful enough not to throw it in my face.
At least have the decency to break the rules behind my back than do it in my face.
I do plan on asking him if he plans to marry her. If not, than he has no business using her.
If a kid trumps your ace by moving out, fine. If he never sees you again over this, let him be your guest. Blackmail over these issues should not be allowed. Any kid to abandons and cuts off his parents over an issue like this is a bad bad kid.
I don’t mean he has to be mean to the kid. Just a nice, “no can do” works. No lectures, etc. Just no.
That’s what I told my wife last night. “So I’m providing the bed for him to boink her on. Should I buy his condoms, too?”
She laughed.
That is fantastic. Good luck!
BINGO! Thank you.
Tell them to “get a room.”
Someplace else.
Your house, your rules. If it is a violation of your moral standards he doesn’t get to sleep with her in your house if they aren’t married. My parents and grandparents had the same standards and I cannot imagine having shown them disrespect by going against their wishes.
Of course not! If you need moral clarity with this,
I fear your problems are far bigger.
I think that's BS. He's 22. He seems to be acting like he is still in high school with no responsibilities. He's out of college. He can get a job, earn his own money, get his own place to live.
If he can't handle 'new' rules - and fact is, he knows it is bothering his step-dad - then move out. And if he cries to mommy, then he is proving he is using his step-dad just for free roof over his head.
As uncomfortable as it might be because he is not 'his' son, it is HIS HOME. Man up and have some tough love. Might be best in the long-term.
Thanks. Sadly, I was starting to have some doubts. I kept hearing about how “he’s 22, she’s a steady girlfriend, etc.”
But I know in my heart it is not the right thing to do.
Your house. Your rules.
The first time I found a boy in my daugher’s room, I allowed him to call his parents for a ride home. After that, any one found where they shouldn’t be was just RUN out the front door... You HAVE to stand on your principles! My son has had his ONLY polite removal from my home...and he knows it. The rules are the rules!
Unless he is paying rent, it’s your house, your space, your rules.
Thanks, RG.
You might point out to the girfriend that the last thing she wants is to be pregnant and living with a guy who’s not yet ready to leave the nest.
My parents and the parent of the girl I dated all through high school and a year and a half of college never had a problem with either of us staying at either home for the evening or even several days at a time.
Hell, half the time we never made it to the bedroom. We just went at it right there in the living room or basement.
I'm kidding. Maybe.
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