We're fixin' to get ready for Thanksgivin' and all y'all are invited ...
"Old times there are not forgotten."
Posted on 11/20/2008 7:46:23 AM PST by Gopher Broke
Things never said by Southerners
40. Oh, I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of 'Hee Haw' that we haven't aeen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight
Those are not Southern liberals. They are transplanted yankees.
Shoulda been guarding both borders.
“In Northren Virginia where I was raised in the 50’s and 60’s there were people there who had survived ‘The War’ as they called who told us little ones stories about the depredations that they endured at hands of the invaders.”
The Yankees were far from benevolent occupiers. The tyranny and oppression they wielded over Southern civilians was unconscionable. Many folks (especially from north of the Mason-Dixon line and the granola republics of the West Coast) are ignorant of the fact that it was the Yankees who invaded the South, and that was what really started the War for Southern Independence: The South just wanted to be left alone to forge its own destiny, but that tyrant Lincoln had other ideas. Secession itself is not a martial or warlike act; invasion, though, most certainly is.
“Southerners fly their Rebel Flags, but let the USA be threatened and they are first in line to fight for her.”
That’s a fact.
According to the article you should change Lincoln to the Rev. William John Henry Boetcker.
Vicksburg surrended to Grant on July 4, 1863. The Confederate commander was a Yankee fighting for the Confederacy. Vicksburg was more starved out than assaulted, but the town took a lot damage from Union cannonading.
The fall of Vicksburg and Meade’s success at Gettyburg that same day sealed the fate of the Confederacy.
The Union Army was charged with an air of moral superiority that allowed them, I suppose, to excuse looting and vandalism in their own minds. (”As He died to make men holy, let us die to make them free.” and all that.)
I hold to the opinion that slavery was clearly moribund in the South and race relations in the Reconstruction era were harmed by Northern (Republican) opportunism and arrogance. The Civil War, and Northern success in it, clearly was a disaster for the country, as it lead to period of intense national moralizing and ebullience, resulting in the Spanish-American War, Prohibition (both historical and the current WOD), women’s sufferage, U.S. participation in the Great War and its follow up, and finally massive illegal immigration. All these events were national disasters. How much better off an isolationist “Switzerland-like” North would have been is easy to imagine.
16. I’ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
Heck, I don’t even know what that means!
Simple, it means you’ll be having ‘food’ that ‘food’ eats.
Or as a Southern friend of mine says - "We look at this as just a long cease fire"
Don't tell me your troubles -- I.'m not a proctologist
geeze...I’ll just leave it unauthored.
“Yinz” must be like “youins” as in several of you people...
No, I really don't have a favorite SEC team.
Southside Virginia ?
“Can we go somewhere besides Dollywood or Branson this year?”
“I prefer classical to country.”
“Grits? What are grits?”
Ass rot = “That’s right”
It sounds like something from the first wave of English to the US. Might be SE US...
I still don't want to hear about your rotten ass; so take your problem to a proctologist (an ass doctor, in case you didn't know what I was talking abouit in post #50).
Heineken is horse urine for name dropping girly-men whose pinky finger is the only thing that isn't flaccid.
Well how do they do it up north?
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