Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom (says "fell on vegetable while naked")

telegraph.co.uk ^ | 11/13/08 | Staff

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

Russian doll, French doll, Vietnamese doll.... ???!!! Does it really make a difference?!

Maybe it was a matrushka doll. ;)

[chris_in_nj]

A million to one shot, doc....

[mkleesma]

A friend of mine worked as an ER nurse, and she saw this stuff all the time - guys coming in with vacuum cleaner tubes attached to their privates, a woman with a banana stuck in her you-know-what, men that needed surgery to remove salamis, etc.
The best part, she said, were the completely lame and unbelievable excuses they came up with. It was almost impossible to keep a straight face.

[HungarianGypsy]

Ewww. One former medic told a story about a woman who had a jar of mayo stuck in unbecoming areas. He said he has never had mayo on anything since seeing that.

[RushIsMyTeddyBear]

Lawd. I used to live in Sheffield. This will be the talk of the hospital staff and the city.

Gives a whole new meaning to ‘meat and two veg’.

[null and void]

Hashbrowns ?

Bangers and Mash....

[NonValueAdded]

I had no idea who to give him to--whether he belonged to the medical or surgical dept

psych would be my first choice

[thackney]

A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: "Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.

"But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way.

Talking to a reporter about this is a discreet and profession manner?

[pitinkie]

I had an older woman that came in with gross vaginal discharge..pulled out a shoe polish cap! She said “she must have sat on it”!

[MomofFive]

No. Poo-tato.

[NonValueAdded]

ping, I’m sure you have a great story to share as well

[Brookhaven]

‘Having performed a few and witnessed many, once the patient is anesthetized such procedures are anything but “delicate.”’

Don’t they just use a plunger? Sounds like a job for Joe the Plumber.

[library user]

Yes, the Russian Doll is that set of dolls that fit within one another. nuf sed?

Oh, that's right. Excuse me while I go throw up now. :O)

[aruanan]

Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom (says "fell on vegetable while naked")

This was the Dirty Vicar, right?

Which of the following varieties of potato was it? I'm guessing Pink Eye or the Red Pontiac.

Désirée
Bintje
Fianna
Kestrel
King Edward
Kipfler
Nicola
Pink Eye
Pink Fir Apple
Red Pontiac
Rooster
Russet Burbank
Spunta

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

It's a uh...safety precaution.

This time OSHA's gone too far, dammit!!! ;)

[puroresu]

Obama was rushed to the hospital with the same problem. They removed Matthews & Olbermann from his rectum. He told the doc he had just gotten out of the shower, slipped on the soap, and landed on the two of them.

[ladyvet]

potatoes Au rotten...

[machogirl]

thanks goodness he wasn’t climbing a fence and impaled his rectum on a fence spike.

what is it with the brits? :)

[Red in Blue PA]

LOL!

And I haven’t seen Looter Guy for awhile. I’m sure we will find out some pictoral evidence that he was involved in this.

[Aria]

Oh how I’d love to hear the excuses - hanging curtains in the nude is pretty funny - as if anyone would ever believe this.

What possible excuse could there be for having a vacuum cleaner tube attached...or a banana....eewwwww