****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

7 YEAR OLDS & Beer

A handful of 7 year old children were asked ‘ what they thought of beer.’
Some interesting responses.

7 year old Tim - ‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.’

7 year old Mellanie - ‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.’

7 year old Grady - ‘My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn’t think this is very funny.’

7 year old Toby - ‘My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.’

7 year old Sarah - ‘My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much.

7 year old Lilly - ‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.’

7 year old Ethan - ‘I don’t like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbeque and they taste disgusting.’

7 year old Shirley - ‘I give Dad’s beer to the Dog and he goes to sleep.’
——————————————— ———————————————
7 year old Jack - ‘My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.’

50 QUESTIONS (are you willing?):

1) How much money is in your wallet?
$2

2) Do you still love your ex?
no, but I often wonder what happened to him

3) What kind of car do you drive?
2005 Dodge Grande Caravan

4) Have you ever been punched in the face?
no

5) Do you ever get depressed?
yes

6) When is the last time you cried?
2 days ago

7) Ever been on a motorcycle?
yes

8) Do you think your pretty/handsome?
yes

9) Do you go to church?
@ once a month

10) If you have a driver’s license, what class? Any endorsements?
Yes-Class D

11) Do people usually like you?
yes - they usually think I’m a sweetheart

12) Are you emotionally sensitive?
sometimes

13) What brand of shirt are you wearing now?
Old Navy

14) Do you smoke cigarettes?
sometimes

15) Did you shower today?
no, I took a bath

16) Are you closer with your mum or dad?
mom

17) Complete the sentence ‘By This Time Next Year’:
I’ll very well could be divorced ;( Or happier in my marriage

18) Would you ever pose for Playboy?
hahahahahahahahaha......no

19) What is your weapon of choice?
don’t tase me bro

20) Do you believe once a cheater always a cheater?
yes

21) What is your goal for this year?
to get through it

22) Do you like to travel?
yes, very much so

23) What is your favorite kind of food?
toss up between anything bbq and seafood

24) Can you cook?
definitely

25) What is your star sign?
Aries

26) Where exactly are you from?
Ashland, Oregon (Jackson County)

27) Whats your favorite drink?
non-alcohol=Pepsi / alcohol=white russian

28) What kind of movies do you enjoy?
action/comedy

29) Have you gone muddin?
nope, can’t say as I have

30) Have you played paintball?
no, but I want to

31) Do you have a close family?
yes

32) Do you have any big plans that will occur soon?
no

33) If you aren’t married, do you ever wish to get married?
n/a

34) Do you enjoy working at your workplace?
yes - best job I’ve ever had

35) Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
pierced ears

36) What is your usual bed time?
10pm

37)Do you own a laptop?
no

38) Would you be ok with being a step parent?
I am and it’s all good. I treat him like he’s mine, but it can be awkward at times cuz he’s not.

39) What are your living arangements?
I live with my husband and our 3 kids. He’s going to court next Thursday to get custody of his son, so we’ll see if he’ll be living with us soon too.

40) What’s Something That Really Annoys You?:
selfishness

41) What was your childhood nickname?
Pookie

42) What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving? road h88d (ducking)

43) Can you keep a secret?
usually

44) What do you do when you need to relax?
take a hot bath

45) Do you think it is OK to sometimes tell lies?
hmmmm....it depends

46) Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
I don’t think so

47) What is your greatest fear in life?
being stuck in an unhappy marriage

48) Favorite month and why?
April - my birthday month and beginning of Spring (in AZ anyway)

49) Favorite color/colors?
hunter green

50) Favorite Season?
toss up between Spring and Fall

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass .and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, 'You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.'

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and as he rushed into Bubba's yard clutching a rosary preparing to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:

'You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish.'

Jesus is watching!

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, 'Jesus is watching you.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score. Then he clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shone his light around, frantically looking for the source of the voice.

In the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep,' the parrot confessed, and then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

The parrot replied, 'The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus.'

50 QUESTIONS (are you willing?):

1) How much money is in your wallet?
No cash.

2) Do you still love your ex?
Don’t have one

3) What kind of car do you drive?
1997 Pontiac Sunfire

4) Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes

5) Do you ever get depressed?
Yes

6) When is the last time you cried?

I don’t know— within the past year maybe.

7) Ever been on a motorcycle?
Yes

8) Do you think your pretty/handsome?
Yes

9) Do you go to church?
Sunday mornings.

10) If you have a driver’s license, what class? Any endorsements?
Operator

11) Do people usually like you?
Yes

12) Are you emotionally sensitive?
No

13) What brand of shirt are you wearing now?
Cintas

14) Do you smoke cigarettes?
Smoke Free since 2004!

15) Did you shower today?
Yes, and I’ll do it again before the day is over!

16) Are you closer with your mum or dad?
Mom

17) Complete the sentence ‘By This Time Next Year’:
I’ll be going through vacation pics and video

18) Would you ever pose for Playboy?
Nope

19) What is your weapon of choice?
Short range, .38 SPL; Long* range, SKS
*out past 200 yards, can’t hit $#!+.

20) Do you believe once a cheater always a cheater?
Yes

21) What is your goal for this year?
Earn my way into a higher tax bracket :(

22) Do you like to travel?
Yes

23) What is your favorite kind of food?
Western European without fish

24) Can you cook?
Yes

25) What is your star sign?
Smoke Free since 2004! (Cancer, not so much) :)

26) Where exactly are you from?
Military family; no home ground

27) Whats your favorite drink?
Regular Coke, or Coffee

28) What kind of movies do you enjoy?
Sci-Fi/Action/Drama/Comedy

29) Have you gone muddin?
No

30) Have you played paintball?
No

31) Do you have a close family?
No

32) Do you have any big plans that will occur soon?
No

33) If you aren’t married, do you ever wish to get married?
n/a

34) Do you enjoy working at your workplace?
Yes

35) Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
No

36) What is your usual bed time?
10pm

37)Do you own a laptop?
No

38) Would you be ok with being a step parent?
Yes

39) What are your living arangements?
Wife, no kids. We’re both mid-40s so probably won’t. Borrow friends’ and relatives’ kids a lot.

40) What’s Something That Really Annoys You?:
Worriers

41) What was your childhood nickname?
Sarge

42) What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
“Beat It” (I was 22!)

43) Can you keep a secret?
Yes

44) What do you do when you need to relax?
Take a shower, then hit the couch

45) Do you think it is OK to sometimes tell lies?
No

46) Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
Yes

47) What is your greatest fear in life?
Slow death (illness or untreated injury)

48) Favorite month and why?
June; green and starting to be warm

49) Favorite color/colors?
Depends. White for wall,s, blue for jeans, silver gray for cars etc.

50) Favorite Season?
Sommerzeit ist gleich gut!

1) How much money is in your wallet?
$54 and change

2) Do you still love your ex?
nope

3) What kind of car do you drive?
Chevy Beretta

4) Have you ever been punched in the face?
no

5) Do you ever get depressed?
occasionally

6) When is the last time you cried?
don't remember

7) Ever been on a motorcycle?
yes

8) Do you think your pretty/handsome?
no, but my hubby does

9) Do you go to church?
no

10) If you have a driver’s license, what class? Any endorsements?
just a normal, boring one

11) Do people usually like you?
hmmm, usually very hard to get to know

12) Are you emotionally sensitive?
nope

13) What brand of shirt are you wearing now?
generic t-shirt

14) Do you smoke cigarettes?
no

15) Did you shower today?
yes

16) Are you closer with your mum or dad?
dad

17) Complete the sentence ‘By This Time Next Year’:
I'll be a year older

18) Would you ever pose for Playboy?
hahahahahahahahaha......not EVEN, nor would they ask

19) What is your weapon of choice?
M&P 40 compact

20) Do you believe once a cheater always a cheater?
yes

21) What is your goal for this year?
buy another gun and more ammo

22) Do you like to travel?
sometimes

23) What is your favorite kind of food?
pasta

24) Can you cook?
yes

25) What is your star sign?
Aries

26) Where exactly are you from?
all over (military brat)

27) Whats your favorite drink?
non-alcohol=water / alcohol=scotch

28) What kind of movies do you enjoy?
action

29) Have you gone muddin?
don't even know what that is

30) Have you played paintball?
no

31) Do you have a close family?
yes

32) Do you have any big plans that will occur soon?
no

33) If you aren’t married, do you ever wish to get married?
already did

34) Do you enjoy working at your workplace?
yes

35) Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
pierced ears, several times

36) What is your usual bed time?
11 pm

37)Do you own a laptop?
no

38) Would you be ok with being a step parent?
hypothetically, yes

39) What are your living arrangements?
I live with my husband, recently empty nesting

40) What’s Something That Really Annoys You?:
stupid people

41) What was your childhood nickname?
not even going there

42) What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
I don't do weird stuff while driving

43) Can you keep a secret?
yes

44) What do you do when you need to relax?
read

45) Do you think it is OK to sometimes tell lies?
hmmmm....it depends

46) Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
nope, that's a deal breaker

47) What is your greatest fear in life?
living a non-productive, unfulfilling, noncreative life

48) Favorite month and why?
November - It has my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving

49) Favorite color/colors?
purple

50) Favorite Season?
Fall

50 QUESTIONS (are you willing?):

1) How much money is in your wallet?
$64

2) Do you still love your ex?
only married once (current), which ex-girlfriend?

3) What kind of car do you drive?
1969 VW Beetle Convertible

4) Have you ever been punched in the face?
yes

5) Do you ever get depressed?
yes

6) When is the last time you cried?
don’t remember

7) Ever been on a motorcycle?
yes

8) Do you think your pretty/handsome?
somewhat

9) Do you go to church?
weekly

10) If you have a driver’s license, what class? Any endorsements?
Yes-Class A

11) Do people usually like you?
sometimes

12) Are you emotionally sensitive?
sometimes

13) What brand of shirt are you wearing now?
Faded Glory (Wal-Mart)

14) Do you smoke cigarettes?
NO

15) Did you shower today?
Not yet, I will tonight

16) Are you closer with your mum or dad?
Dad

17) Complete the sentence ‘By This Time Next Year’:
I’ll probably be right where I am now

18) Would you ever pose for Playboy?
hahahahahahahahaha......no

19) What is your weapon of choice?
12 gauge shotgun

20) Do you believe once a cheater always a cheater?
yes

21) What is your goal for this year?
to get through it

22) Do you like to travel?
After 20 years in the Navy, not so very much

23) What is your favorite kind of food?
steamed oysters and clams

24) Can you cook?
definitely

25) What is your star sign?
Aquarius

26) Where exactly are you from?
Newport, NC (Carteret County)

27) Whats your favorite drink?
non-alcohol=coffee / alcohol=Maker’s Mark and Coke

28) What kind of movies do you enjoy?
westerns

29) Have you gone muddin?
not in many years

30) Have you played paintball?
no

31) Do you have a close family?
no

32) Do you have any big plans that will occur soon?
no

33) If you aren’t married, do you ever wish to get married?
n/a

34) Do you enjoy working at your workplace?
yes

35) Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
no

36) What is your usual bed time?
9pm

37)Do you own a laptop?
yes, but it is way too old

38) Would you be ok with being a step parent?
I am.

39) What are your living arangements?
I live with my wife and our daughter.

40) What’s Something That Really Annoys You?:
dehydrated idiots on the road. you know, instant idiots, just add water

41) What was your childhood nickname?
I’d rather not remember

42) What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
- don’t want to get banned from this site

43) Can you keep a secret?
usually

44) What do you do when you need to relax?
work on my car (see number 3)

45) Do you think it is OK to sometimes tell lies?
sometimes

46) Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
no

47) What is your greatest fear in life?
not being able to support my family

48) Favorite month and why?
October - fishing gets real good

49) Favorite color/colors?
black

50) Favorite Season?
toss up between Spring and Fall

50 QUESTIONS (are you willing?):
no but i am this bored..

1) How much money is in your wallet?
about $200

2) Do you still love your ex?
nope, but her dad is still cool

3) What kind of car do you drive?
i don’t drive cars, but i’ve got a durango, and town and country and a honda shadow

4) Have you ever been punched in the face?
yup

5) Do you ever get depressed?
nah, waste of time

6) When is the last time you cried?
yesterday.. ran out of beer

7) Ever been on a motorcycle?
about 10 minutes ago

8) Do you think your pretty/handsome?
nope. i know i am.

9) Do you go to church?
eh.. kinda.

10) If you have a driver’s license, what class? Any endorsements?
operator, chauffeur, motorcycle

11) Do people usually like you?
depends on the person

12) Are you emotionally sensitive?
not really

13) What brand of shirt are you wearing now?
boondock saints

14) Do you smoke cigarettes?
absolootely

15) Did you shower today?
yeah.. about 3am

16) Are you closer with your mum or dad?
ex father in law

17) Complete the sentence ‘By This Time Next Year’:
i’ll be a year older

18) Would you ever pose for Playboy?
no.. maybe playgirl tho

19) What is your weapon of choice?
depends on the application, first choice is a good bolt action rifle.

20) Do you believe once a cheater always a cheater?
no

21) What is your goal for this year?
enjoy life

22) Do you like to travel?
nope

23) What is your favorite kind of food?
raw red meat.

24) Can you cook?
absolootely

25) What is your star sign?
aquarius

26) Where exactly are you from?
my mom’s uterus

27) Whats your favorite drink?
glenmorganie

28) What kind of movies do you enjoy?
whatever

29) Have you gone muddin?
quite often. drummond island is a great place for it

30) Have you played paintball?
yup

31) Do you have a close family?
not really

32) Do you have any big plans that will occur soon?
considering buying a new house

33) If you aren’t married, do you ever wish to get married?
i am.

34) Do you enjoy working at your workplace?
office? no, bar? absolootely

35) Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
7 piercings, 12 tattoos

36) What is your usual bed time?
when i fall asleep- sometime between 1 and 3am

37)Do you own a laptop?
not one that works

38) Would you be ok with being a step parent?
i am one, but don’t consider myself one.

39) What are your living arangements?
married, 2 kids, 1 cat, 1 bunny, bunch of fish

40) What’s Something That Really Annoys You?:
not having fun

41) What was your childhood nickname?
grimace

42) What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving? climbing out the sun roof

43) Can you keep a secret?
tell me a secret and we’ll find out

44) What do you do when you need to relax?
have fun

45) Do you think it is OK to sometimes tell lies?
yup

46) Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
depends

47) What is your greatest fear in life?
not being able to support my family

48) Favorite month and why?
november- most days off in a single month, and deer season.

49) Favorite color/colors?
black, purple

50) Favorite Season?
hunting

YAY!

50 QUESTIONS (are you willing?):

1) How much money is in your wallet?
$8

2) Do you still love your ex?
N/A

3) What kind of car do you drive?
Dodge Ram

4) Have you ever been punched in the face?
As a kid, by my sister. But she fights like a girl.

5) Do you ever get depressed?
Not in the last few years.

6) When is the last time you cried?
Also Doctor Who. Series II episode XIII, Doomsday

7) Ever been on a motorcycle?
Once, I was eight.

8) Do you think your pretty/handsome?
Frankly, I’m stunning.

9) Do you go to church?
No

10) If you have a driver’s license, what class? Any endorsements?
Class C

11) Do people usually like you?
The ones with taste do. Oh and chicks. Chicks dig me.

12) Are you emotionally sensitive?
No

13) What brand of shirt are you wearing now?
Is “green” a brand?

14) Do you smoke cigarettes?
Not any more. Used to smoke Camels.

15) Did you shower today?
No. I showered last night.

16) Are you closer with your mum or dad?
Neither. Haven’t spoken to my parents in ten years.

17) Complete the sentence ‘By This Time Next Year’:
I will have this tax return off my desk.

18) Would you ever pose for Playboy?
If the money was good, but I don’t think they’d ask for my picture. Maybe Field and Stream would be interested.

19) What is your weapon of choice?
My bare hands. Grrrr.

20) Do you believe once a cheater always a cheater?
No

21) What is your goal for this year?
To pay off my Credit Cards.

22) Do you like to travel?
Yes.

23) What is your favorite kind of food?
Cheeseburgers

24) Can you cook?
I can’t even make coffee.

25) What is your star sign?
Leo

26) Where exactly are you from?
The People’s Republic of Pennsylvania.

27) Whats your favorite drink?
Venti Iced Red Eye.

28) What kind of movies do you enjoy?
Horror

29) Have you gone muddin?
Que?

30) Have you played paintball?
No

31) Do you have a close family?
I’m a shifty eyed loner.

32) Do you have any big plans that will occur soon?
CPE in Florida with the Mrs.

33) If you aren’t married, do you ever wish to get married?
N/A

34) Do you enjoy working at your workplace?
Yes

35) Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
No

36) What is your usual bed time?
10:30

37)Do you own a laptop?
No.

38) Would you be ok with being a step parent?
Can I smack em? Cause I ain’t puttin up with no sassmouth.

39) What are your living arangements?
I figure I’ll make it to 102 or 103, and then be shot by a jealous husband.

40) What’s Something That Really Annoys You?:
Democraps

41) What was your childhood nickname?
Does “Dumb@ss” count?

42) What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving? I’m taking the 5th on that one.

43) Can you keep a secret?
Until I make it to DHOT.

44) What do you do when you need to relax?
Read, sleep, never really thought about it.

45) Do you think it is OK to sometimes tell lies?
Yes. In fact I’m lying right now.

Or am I?

46) Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
Not if she ignored the safe word.

47) What is your greatest fear in life?
Libs

48) Favorite month and why?
May. It’s the furthest away from tax season (I’m a CPA)

49) Favorite color/colors?
Green

50) Favorite Season?
Adobo.

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