Posted on 06/05/2008 9:27:55 AM PDT by MeanWestTexan
I have hang over of Biblical proportions.
As in my head is splitting like the Red Sea.
Fire and brimstone are flying from me like the wrath of an Angy God.
I believe the Germans caused this by immigrating to Texas and brewing a concoction known as "Shiner Bock."
Anyone have any suggestions?
(Excerpt) Read more at thebarmidland.com ...
Just blow him off, that's what I say.
You need to be in prison.
Get thee to church, my son.
Services offered 24/7 at our lady of the porcelain altar.
16 oz of orange juice
3 eggs (any way)
2 pieces of toast as burnt as you can stand it
Give it an hour and you’ll be ready to go again!
You need:
One large cup
1 jar green olives
1 of the offending Shiner Bocks
2 7oz cans of Spicy Hot V8 juice (normally use one, but I’d double on if I were you.
Whorchester sauce
Tobasco
Pepper
Take the cup and line the bottom with the olives. Douse the olives with about 10 shakes of the Tobasco. Let sit for about 2 minutes. Now but in about 5 shakes of Whorchester and poor in the Shiner Bock and the V-8. Mix and grind fresh pepper on top.
It’s hair of the dog, but it get alot of the vitamins and potassium that you flushed from your system last night.
Note: The mixing it with the offending beverage is really more ritual than useful. I dont recommend doing that if the hangover is from Merlot. That really tastes like crap.
Goodness, always take 2 Excedrin before you go to sleep. If you still feel like crap in the morning, have a drink or two - that will alleviate any nauseas feelings.
Must be one mean hangover! Usually water and aspirin will work, if not the night before, the day of (combined with more rest).
One suggestion (that apparently is rather controversial) is to eat something that is rather fatty, like pizza or, McDonald’s food, and “sleep on that”. Again, I realize that’s rather controversial, but it’s worked for me in the past. (no joke!) That is of course assuming there’s no associated nausea. The way I always saw it, I thought, “Well, I’ve already damaged my body with all this alcohol, might as well try to get comfortable, and not worry about fat and cholesterol at this point!”
Also, take a vitamin.
That’s one thing I really don’t miss about drinking: The hangovers. I really do think it’s God’s way of keeping us from drinking excessively. At least as “kind” a way He can muster while still reminding us of the consequences! haha
Sounds like your a number five.........
One Star Hangover (*):
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You’re able to Function
relatively well; however, you are still parched. You can drink
5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason you are
craving a steak & fries.
Two Star Hangover (**):
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You May look okay,
but you have the mental capacity Of a staple gun. The coffee you
are chugging is only increasing the rumbling in your gut, which
is still tossing around the Papa burger and fries you had at the
all night drive thru excursion at 3:00 AM. There is some
definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***):
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
productive. Anytime a girl walks by, you gag because her perfume
reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic
friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if
you were home in your bed watching I Love Lucy Reruns. You’ve
had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a Diet
Coke yet you haven’t peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****):
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can’t speak too quickly
or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for
being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You
wore nice clothes, but that can’t hide the fact that you only
shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you
put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes
look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your
sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five
poops you take during the day brings water to your eyes as well
as the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.
Five Star Hangover (*****):
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually
annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is
seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. In fact, you are
probably still drunk. You still have toothpaste crust in the
corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to
get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the
ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you.
You don’t have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was
passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate
results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid
with a rare ‘floater’ thrown in. The sole purpose of this
‘floater’ seems to be to splash toilet water all over your ass.
Death sounds pretty good about right now.
Dixon was alive again. Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way; not for him the slow, gracious wandering from the halls of sleep, but a summary, forcible ejection. He lay sprawled, too wicked to move, spewed up like a broken spider crab on the tarry shingle of the morning. The light did him harm, but not as much as looking at things did; he resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again. A dusty thudding in his head made the scene before him beat like a pulse. His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum. During the night, too, he’d somehow been on a cross-country run and then been expertly beaten up by secret police. He felt bad.— Kingsley Amis, Lucky Jim.
Or you could just try Cheeseburger in a Can...
about a 4 1/2 -— no stranger.
This hurt I was laughing so hard:
“Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare ‘floater’ thrown in. The sole purpose of this ‘floater’ seems to be to splash toilet water all over your ass.”
LOL, I've always wondered about those things; it seems they make even White Castle look gourmet!
I'm a recovering alcoholic and during my 17 years of hard drinking I had a few monumental hangovers. Of course, professional drinkers know to stick a bottle of Gatorade in the freezer the night before, and stick it under your pillow when you get home. The coolness stops the throbbing in your head and in the back of your neck, and by the time you wake up, it's pretty much thawed.
I only get flu symptoms every couple of years, but when I do, they hit me pretty hard, and it feels a lot like a hangover. When it does hit me, I'm still amazed that I used to inflict the exact symptoms on myself deliberately, and usually paid for the privilege!
Ah, wisdom.
Part of my issue is I am just not much of a drinker. Glass of wine on Friday night, beer if I go to a BBQ.
This time, I was among ex-pat Yankees (friends from school) who were drinking massively because no wives were present -— going boating this weekend with them in Austin.
The internal organs of horses and pigs are not high on the “kosher” list.
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