He'll think you're thuper.
Posted on 04/23/2008 9:56:59 AM PDT by Lazamataz
I've been trying to cope with life as it is today. It's different than it was, that's for sure.
About July of 2006, I met the woman of my dreams. Intelligent, very pretty, highly sexually-charged, professional, able to understand my offbeat humor, seemingly very compatible with me in every way. Soon after starting to date, we began to plan to marry. Our target date was June of 2007.
Some things began to bother me, however. She seemed to make major changes, quickly. She converted in levels of religious fervor, and seemed to change in core directions, too quickly. I began to see various, if small, lies.
Too, I had my problems. I was beginning to become judgemental about her. I wasn't accepting who she was, but who I wanted her to be. She was judgemental and controlling in return.
I noticed she had a huge low self-esteem, and I also have been cursed with that -- although I am working on myself, diligently. She admitted to me that she had bulimia, but then lied about individual episiodes. There were times she smelled like vomit, but swore she hadn't acted out.
Well, around about October of last year, she hooked up with the father of her child, a 5x convicted felon and currently-active crackhead.
She called me last week because she needed groceries. Apparently, she started using crack with him, picking up this habit at the age of 42. She lost her job. Her car's about to be repossessed. She has no electricity. She's fallen apart. Her skin tone, normally beautiful, is ashen. She looks about 10 years older than she did. Her hair was a mess. She had bruises all over her. She's gained 20-30 lbs, and has a big belly now, and fat legs. She wasn't attractive any more. She just wasn't.
Her house is trashed. There is damage to many of the interior door jams, like someone busted in. There is trash on the floor everywhere. There doesn't appear to be a clean dish in the house. The hallways had empty crack bags in them. The clothes they wore looked unwashed.
Ray had a big bite mark on his arm where she bit to the muscle. She's become an animal -- an animal who bites. She was spiritually vacant. Her eyes had no soul.
She's absolutely not for me. She hates herself. She's incapable of love. She doesn't even give a *** about her daughter. That's the toughest part to see. She says her daughter is a typical rebellious teenager. MAYBE it has a LITTLE to do with the fact that the house is falling into a pit of horror, and her Mom is high on crack, drunk out of her mind, fighting and biting her husband until he bleeds.
She's dangerously insane. I will never consider being with her for a minute. I cannot believe I almost married this nutcase. I need better discernment.
You should see what she said about you at SZ5
Not all single moms are morally bankrupt.
Childbirth will make a woman do a 180 for the child if she has any seeds of decency in her heart.
There are a lot of married/divorced moms who are worse than the one mentioned by the original poster.
Moral bankruptcy transcends all barriers.
Scorpio’s today and tomorrow:
Wednesday, Apr 23, 2008
You’re feeling quiet, somber, realistic, and contained. If a dark mood comes over you, know that it is temporary. You tend to see things more pessimistically than usual right now.
Thursday, Apr 24, 2008
This is a time to get others’ opinions and feedback about yourself and what you are doing. Relationships of all types are activated now and cooperation, compromise, and adjustments to others’ viewpoints are key issues that require your attention. You may come into contact with a person who is especially creative or influential in your life.
I think that the term is suckubus. Lucky you got away.
She sounds like ‘She Who Must NOT Be Named’. I too escaped before the wedding, but, it took me several years to recover financially.
I was VERY lucky when I met ‘Mrs Conan’. We’ve been married 10 years this September, and still going strong!
DAMN!
A friend will help you move.
A real friend will help you move the body.
The poor darling could use some comforting...
Midgets. Clowns. Orange Marmalade. Scuba Fins. Trapese Bars.
Only if we don’t forget the rubber spatula, epsom salts, cornflakes and WD-40.
I believe that is a far greater problem in this country than we realize.
Just to put it into perspective - how much does our Creator love us? So much that He "...commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)
Even if we felt we were worthless to anyone on earth, and even to ourselves, the knowledge that the pure and holy Son of God chose to leave His home in heaven, become human like us, live as a man on this earth, tempted by the temptations common to man (yet remain pure and sinless), suffer and die on the cross for us, while we were yet sinners, is all we need to understand to know what we are worth to God and our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Hebrews 4: 15 "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. "
Hebrews 2:18 "For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted."
I'll pray for this woman and her family, and for you. You did the right thing by sending someone in your place to help her. God bless.
Never forget who you are.
Never let anyone deprive you of your sense of humor.
Stay close to your friends.
I've been through drugs, depression, panic attacks, crazed, possessive women, the death of my father at a young age, and a host of other embarrassments and humiliations. I've woken up in bushes and in snowbanks, with no memory of how I got there. All, a long time ago. All, a part of life.
Keep busy, stick by good people and good things and force yourself to smile, if necessary. Pretty soon, you're not forcing it any more. And stay away from crazy-assed women, willya? Feel better -
Andy
I agree.
D'ya think Billy Zane'll like me?
He'll think you're thuper.
The crazier they are, the better they... ahem, you know.
List o’ questions. I’ve read some of them.
They go a lot into faith, views toward money, views toward children, discipline, education, single vs dual income, etc.
Now, the kicker (for you guys) - he’s compiling this as an e-book, but he’s pretty darn busy, being a board member on the midwest homeschooling association. So, it may be a bit.
However, I will make sure to notify him that he has a ready made customer base already. People are hungry for this stuff.
I picked up a good line from him at our last meeting -
“dating is practice for divorce”
You date someone for a while and dump ‘em when you get tired of them or something goes awry. Better to establish compatibility then discuss marriage before getting all attached & stuff.
Ew.
I'm not a psychologist, but I do know that dependence makes people do some strange things, whether that dependence is chemical or relational. It especially gets tricky when unstable people try to substitute one for the other.
Blessings for a fresh start.
The response on this thread reminds me.
Just don't expect Easter gifts.
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