Posted on 04/23/2008 9:56:59 AM PDT by Lazamataz
I've been trying to cope with life as it is today. It's different than it was, that's for sure.
About July of 2006, I met the woman of my dreams. Intelligent, very pretty, highly sexually-charged, professional, able to understand my offbeat humor, seemingly very compatible with me in every way. Soon after starting to date, we began to plan to marry. Our target date was June of 2007.
Some things began to bother me, however. She seemed to make major changes, quickly. She converted in levels of religious fervor, and seemed to change in core directions, too quickly. I began to see various, if small, lies.
Too, I had my problems. I was beginning to become judgemental about her. I wasn't accepting who she was, but who I wanted her to be. She was judgemental and controlling in return.
I noticed she had a huge low self-esteem, and I also have been cursed with that -- although I am working on myself, diligently. She admitted to me that she had bulimia, but then lied about individual episiodes. There were times she smelled like vomit, but swore she hadn't acted out.
Well, around about October of last year, she hooked up with the father of her child, a 5x convicted felon and currently-active crackhead.
She called me last week because she needed groceries. Apparently, she started using crack with him, picking up this habit at the age of 42. She lost her job. Her car's about to be repossessed. She has no electricity. She's fallen apart. Her skin tone, normally beautiful, is ashen. She looks about 10 years older than she did. Her hair was a mess. She had bruises all over her. She's gained 20-30 lbs, and has a big belly now, and fat legs. She wasn't attractive any more. She just wasn't.
Her house is trashed. There is damage to many of the interior door jams, like someone busted in. There is trash on the floor everywhere. There doesn't appear to be a clean dish in the house. The hallways had empty crack bags in them. The clothes they wore looked unwashed.
Ray had a big bite mark on his arm where she bit to the muscle. She's become an animal -- an animal who bites. She was spiritually vacant. Her eyes had no soul.
She's absolutely not for me. She hates herself. She's incapable of love. She doesn't even give a *** about her daughter. That's the toughest part to see. She says her daughter is a typical rebellious teenager. MAYBE it has a LITTLE to do with the fact that the house is falling into a pit of horror, and her Mom is high on crack, drunk out of her mind, fighting and biting her husband until he bleeds.
She's dangerously insane. I will never consider being with her for a minute. I cannot believe I almost married this nutcase. I need better discernment.
And I agree with the above -- count your blessings that she did not drag you back into the horror of active addiction.
Good, now save yourself. Please. Look at it this way, you are a very lucky man. This is the beginning of a fantastic life. Don’t look back.
I love you. Marry me.
“A friend of mine is compiling a list of “get to know you” questions that he’s having his sons and daughters discuss with any future mate before they get emotionally committed. Sounds like a good strategy, in conjunction with group settings for meeting people”
Perhaps your friend might be willing to disclose those questions from his work-in-progress?
I’d like to see what they are....
- John
Hey Laz, long time no chat.
Things were going so well for you when we were at WTP. Sorry this had to happen. On the bright side, you got out before she took you down with her.
Riiiiight.
I think this usually happens when a new friend shows up. And then you never know when the time bomb is going to go off. As Rodney used to say, my problem is I can't relax.
We are all basket cases, and prone to fall into the abyss of sin and destruction.
We need to read Genesis 3 about our first parents, and understand that we've all inherited the disease that they fell into -- but magnified and mutated over the generations:
'Eve saw that it was good for food, pleasant to the eye, and something to be desired to make one wise...' and her husband Adam went along and chose to follow 'mankind' rather than God'. So yes, we all have a tendency to look at something from its outside appearances and imagine that it'll be really good for us. We all are attracted by the things that sparkle. We all want to go our own ways - and not the path which God has shown us. We all feel the tug of the world - and don't walk in the light of God's Word.
But we have to remember that even though Adam and Eve had disobeyed, and thus had justly received the condemnation of death and banishment from the Garden - God remembered them: 'Unto Adam and his wife, the Lord God made coats of skins, and clothed them'...He did not leave them alone.
We are all sinners - come to Jesus just as you are and rest on Him. He is our covering, and He'll gladly cover our sins by His Righteousness.
He'll get you through the storms of life.
Romans 5
1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
I also think you need to run as far away from her as possible....before she sucks you in again....because I think you are capable of it. Just learn and run. You can't help her.
Laz, she wasn’t meant to be......
Go and dont look back.
Repeat - NEVER, EVER DATE A SINGLE MOTHER!!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Thats really nasty. My husband took on 5 of my children. 3 were mine & 2 I was raising. They were all teenagers & he stepped right in & helped me. When we were both 41 yrs old we were blessed with our own daughter. Sure we had ups & downs but all of my children love their father & their stepfather. Shaking my head at you! I know many fine men who are able to marry single moms & have no problem at all.
So, I killed her. She's in the trunk of my car now, never to trouble another soul.
Don' t mess with the Laz.
Our sex-life ROCKS.
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