What happens when the woman of your dreams is a nightmare?

Apr 23, 2008 | By Lazamataz

[Lazamataz]

I am stunned. This beautiful Girl Scout Mom, this sweet-natured woman who loved me, this beautiful, talented professional -- is none of those things. I am now moving on, but it is hard.

[Lazamataz]

In the interests of full disclosure, I, too, had a cocaine-drug habit until 2005.

[Lazamataz]

It’s weird. I don’t know what to think. A big part of my life has been ripped from me.

[MrB]

I’ve seen this before with people/women.

They have a very rough background, have self destructive behaviors, but are able to appear normal in certain settings.

A good thing comes along, and they’re happy for a short period, but then the old nagging “you’re not good enough” jumps back to the fore, and they unconsciously sabotage this good thing that has come along in their life.

You have to move on, pray for her, and put her in the “God box” to be taken care of.

A friend of mine is compiling a list of “get to know you” questions that he’s having his sons and daughters discuss with any future mate before they get emotionally committed. Sounds like a good strategy, in conjunction with group settings for meeting people.

[CSM]

Whew! Looks like you dodged a bullet. God certainly shielded you from a blood sucker!

I know it has been hard for you, but at least now you can change the picture of her in your own mind.

[metesky]

[EggsAckley]

Laz........

My all-time favorite fortune cookie fortune reads:

“It was all so different before everything changed.”

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

I told you that you were better off without her when you first split.

It seems that she has sunken to even worse levels since I last spoke to you about it.

I am sorry you are dealing with this Laz....HUGS!!!

[bmwcyle]

I am on my third wife. Sometimes you just have to trade up.

[Phantom Lord]

Her house is trashed. There is damage to many of the interior door jams, like someone busted in. There is trash on the floor everywhere. There doesn't appear to be a clean dish in the house. The hallways had empty crack bags in them. The clothes they wore looked unwashed.

Sounds like my house in college! Other than the crack bags.

[Red Badger]

She’s running for president.......

[Leftism is Mentally Deranged]

And I’ll bet she votes democrat.

[Coldwater Creek]

Smart friend that you have there! My son has done the same with his 5.
got a couple of real winners in grand sons in law.

[Nonstatist]

You sound like you’re a bit judgemental. Some things you just have to let roll off you.

[DieHard the Hunter]

Hey Lazamataz

I don’t think we’ve engaged much in Forum, you and me.

It sounds to me like this girl would be just fine except for the drugs. Her issue is the drugs. You were not to know that when you met her. She had a past, and he included drugs.

Not your fault: she probably cannot be fixed. Move on, and be thankful you found out. You deserve better.

She may fix herself: you can’t do it for her. Time to move on.

[Lazamataz]

Mr B, thanks. I’m so glad you’ve seen this before. Your description so closely matches my experience: She was happy for a while. She did get a case of the “I’m not good enough’s”. She did sabotoge it, only not so subconsciously. It was more conscious.

I am moving on. I deserve better. I’m glad I knew her, for I did love her then, and she showed me that I truly am capable of love.

[Coldwater Creek]

Thanks for sharing. Stories like this help me to accept widowhood a little easier.

[Dead Dog]

Sorry to hear about that man. Hang in there.

[Lizavetta]

Speaking from experience from someone who has lost 100 times more than a relationship, time helps. For now just endure and let time go by. It will get better.

And like a previous poster said, thank whoever or whatever you give thanks to that you dodged this bullet who would have pulled you down with her.

[Lazamataz]

I sent some relatives to intervene. The reports are she's taking to the intervention well. I am stunned at the level of her collapse, but I'm glad she's thinking about doing something different.

I won't be with her, in the future. But I'm glad for her.