Mr B, thanks. I’m so glad you’ve seen this before. Your description so closely matches my experience: She was happy for a while. She did get a case of the “I’m not good enough’s”. She did sabotoge it, only not so subconsciously. It was more conscious.
I am moving on. I deserve better. I’m glad I knew her, for I did love her then, and she showed me that I truly am capable of love.
I have a similar woman in my past too. She was the only woman I could have dreamed about spending the rest of my life with. She cheated on me, but I forgave her. She turned to me whenever she needed an emotional boost and I got tired of being that person for her because she refused to commit. She had problems with the ex-husband and refused to get involved like that until the time was right. Turns out that she was getting high and allowing her ex to film their experiences in various sexual acts and he was selling them on the web.
Nice girl, beautiful eyes, great smile, fantastic legs and smart at work but an awful judge of character so I turned the page seven years ago. A mutual friend told me that her latest dumped her because she was too old and he wanted someone w/o a child to spend the summer with him at the beach.
Whenever I see someone with her eyes or that smells like her perfume, I still wonder about what might have been, but my wife (we met afterward) and our two kids keep me too busy to really think about it much.
Thanks for sharing. it's good to know that other people have been through something similar.