Eliot Spitzer Joke Thread

Self | March 10, 2008 | PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

The Eliot Spitzer prostitution ring scandal is the PERFECT situation for jokes. I am sure there will be a plethora of such jokes. Therefore please post on this thread all Eliot Spitzer jokes that you hear. Let this be the Eliot Spitzer Joke Resource Center. Oh, and don't forget to post any such jokes made by comedians.

[LachlanMinnesota]

She must have been painting his house, too, and supplying the paint and scaffolding...that’s the only way I can figure it.

[JCG]

Client, client number 9,
Running down the hooker line.
If she knocks you off the track,
Do you want your money back?

Sorry Eliot/Client/George -- looks like you're "it!"
http://www.gameskidsplay.net/jump_rope_ryhmes/engine_engine_number_9.htm

----

Send treats to the troops...
Great because you did it!
www.AnySoldier.com

[onyx eyes]

Somebody on CNN said they’ll probably let Spitzer off.
after all, they let Bill Clinton off.

[bannie]

haha!

Let me think about that...

[ladyjane]

What is it with New York governors? Didn’t Governor Carey run off with a Latina firecracker who had been married 5 times? And then there was Nelson who had a heart attack during his affair with Megan Marshack.

[ladyjane]

Does anyone have a link to a video of the trading floor on Wall Street erupting in cheers when the news was announced?

[Palladin]

I wonder what the pimps, madames, and ‘hos did before cellphones, texting, and ATM machines.

[Palladin]

I wonder what the pimps, madames, and ‘hos did before cellphones, texting, and ATM machines.

[tcrlaf]

Spitzer takes a “Wide Stance” on Ethics Issues....

[Spunky]

Instead of her giving Eliot a Lewinsky, Eliot gives her a Spitzer

[Charles Henrickson]

I made a suggestion to Charles Henrickson for an Eliot Spitzer song parody.

Here it is, PJ--not the idea you suggested, but one I came up with on my own. Click and sing, everyone!

PROSTITUTIN' SPITZ
Tune: "Puttin' on the Ritz"

If you're guv
And wish you knew
Where to get love
Why don't you do
Like hypocrites
Prostitutin' Spitz

Girls with names
You find out after
Play their games
And soon you hafta
Call it quits
Prostitutin' Spitz

Hooked up with a thousand-dollar hooker
Now you're stuck inside the pressure cooker
Lookin' snookered

Call-girl tricks
Of pure excitement
Pay for kicks
With your indictment
Paging Fitz
Prosecutin' Spitz

Have you seen the prostitute
Chargin' high and lookin' cute
You're a famous VIP
Now we write your RIP
Phone calls
And wiretapping
Net falls
It's you they're trapping
Spendin' lots of cash
For a thrill and a rash

If you're guv
And wish you knew
Where to get love
Why don't you do
Like hypocrites
Prostitutin' Spitz

Girls with names
You find out after
Play their games
And soon you hafta
Call it quits
Prostitutin' Spitz

Hooked up with a thousand-dollar hooker
Now you're stuck inside the pressure cooker
Lookin' snookered

Call-girl tricks
Of pure excitement
Pay for kicks
With your indictment
Paging Fitz
Prosecutin' Spitz

(Wiretapdancing)

Hooked up with a thousand-dollar hooker
Now you're stuck inside the pressure cooker
Lookin' snookered

If you're guv
And wish you knew
Where to get love
Why don't you do
Like hypocrites
Prostitutin' Spitz
Prostitutin' Spitz
Prostitutin' Spitz
Prostitutin' Spitz

[Uriah_lost]

The Smoking Gun got screen caps of the site before it was taken down....
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0306082emperor1.html

[doug from upland]

I changed Love Potion No. 9 and made a YouTube. It will be posted in the morning.

[doug from upland]

Skip to comments.

DFU SONG: Engine Engine Number 9 (Eliot Spitzer is customer Number 9)
DFU News of the Day in Song ^ | 3-10-08 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

Posted on 03/10/2008 1:15:32 PM PDT by doug from upland

MIDI - ENGINE ENGINE NUMBER 9

Eliot, you're Number 9...we have one who's really fine
Do you think you're man enough for her?

She can do amazing things...we guarantee a smile she'll bring
She's hoping you're someone who makes her purr
Do you think you'll make her purr?

Hey, Eliot, you're number 9...you only get so much time
She's a girl who loves diamonds and fur

While she is here granting your wishes
Your wife's at home doing dishes
In more ways than one you're screwed for sure

Hey, Eliot, what's next...hey, Eliot, you looked vexed
It's really some sight to see...what about your fam'ly?
Time for resignation..and stop the fornication
Joseph Bruno's getting the last laugh
This is more than a small gaff

Eliot, you're Number 9...we have one who's really fine
Do you think you're man enough for her?

She really does amazing things...we guarantee a big smile she'll bring
She is hoping you can make her purr
Do you think that you can make her purr?
Do you think that you can make her purr?

[Berlin_Freeper]

SCRANTON, Pa. (AP) - Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton carefully sidestepped questions Monday about the sex scandal engulfing Eliot Spitzer, her home state governor and political ally.

"I don't have any comment on that. Obviously I am sending my best wishes and thoughts to the governor and to his family," Clinton said, opening her first campaign swing through Pennsylvania, which holds its presidential primary April 22.

[Slings and Arrows]

I am in awe. You are the Weird Al of conservatism.

[pookie18]

If you don’t have a thread for it, let me know the URL...thanks.

[Lancey Howard]

I can’t get over the EXACT military mission type planning. No detail left untouched. Everything confirmed and double confirmed. This guy Spitzer, he is dilligent and thorough! I will give him that much.

I would guess he picked up all these clever ploys during his decades of putting people just like himself in prison.

Think about that.

[SAJ]

Well, I'm not DFU, but here goes:

========

I took my troubles to the Emperor Club.
Was kinda horny if ya get me, bub.
They've got a place up on 69th that's fine,
And they told me I would be called
Love Client number 9.

I told 'em that I was a flop with chicks.
They said that's somethin' that is easy t'fix.
''Just fifty-five hundred and you'll be doin' fine''
That's what they told me,
Love Client number 9.

[flaglady47]

Because it fits so well on this particular thread, here it is one more time:

There once was a Govn’r named Spitzer,
Who couldn’t control his own spritzer.
He used his account for Kristen to mount,
Got caught and it’s too late to diss her.