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Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Business, Advertising, and The Boss
Intriguing.com ^
| August 4, 2006
| Sully777
Posted on 08/04/2006 1:08:59 AM PDT by sully777
Adrian Wapcaplet (W): Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang!
Mr. Simpson (S): Thank you.
Mr. Wapcaplet: Do sit down--my name's Wapcaplet, Adrian Wapcaplet...
Simpson: how'd'y'do.
Wapcaplet: Now, Mr. Simpson... Simpson, Simpson... French, is it?
S: No.
W: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder.
S: String.
W: String, washing powder, what's the difference. We can sell *anything*.
S: Good. Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand *miles* of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it...
W: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string, no trouble there.
S: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful.
W: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!"
S: What?
W: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!"
S: For what?
W: "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!"
S: Such as?
W: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attatching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests...
S: Destroying household pests?! How?
W: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than, you flog them to death with it!
S: Well *surely*!....
W: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!" (Click Source-link for conclusion )
TOPICS: Arts/Photography; Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Education; Gardening; Hobbies; Humor; Miscellaneous; Music/Entertainment; Outdoors; Pets/Animals; Society; TV/Movies; UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: 247365; ads; advertising; business; dancingforjoy; friday; mentos; ofst247; silly; woowoo; working4theweekend
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To: sully777
To: martin_fierro
As Howard Stern's character "Out Of The Closet Stern" would say, "Oogah..."
222
posted on
08/06/2006 9:12:15 AM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: martin_fierro
Gomer sez "Shazzam..."
223
posted on
08/06/2006 10:44:38 AM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: pissant
As per #211 onward
Jeff Goldblatt: FoxNews
Rod Serling: Twilight Zone
224
posted on
08/06/2006 10:51:31 AM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: nutmeg; ajolympian2004
As per #211 onward
Jeff Goldblatt: FoxNews
Rod Serling: Twilight Zone
225
posted on
08/06/2006 10:51:45 AM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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