Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Business, Advertising, and The Boss

Intriguing.com ^ | August 4, 2006 | Sully777

[sully777]

Adrian Wapcaplet (W): Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang!
Mr. Simpson (S): Thank you.
Mr. Wapcaplet: Do sit down--my name's Wapcaplet, Adrian Wapcaplet...
Simpson: how'd'y'do.
Wapcaplet: Now, Mr. Simpson... Simpson, Simpson... French, is it?
S: No.
W: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder.
S: String.
W: String, washing powder, what's the difference. We can sell *anything*.
S: Good. Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand *miles* of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it...
W: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string, no trouble there.
S: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful.
W: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!"
S: What?
W: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!"
S: For what?
W: "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!"
S: Such as?
W: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attatching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests...
S: Destroying household pests?! How?
W: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than, you flog them to death with it!
S: Well *surely*!....
W: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!" (Click Source-link for conclusion )

[sully777]

and that's really filling me with joy...

[sully777]

I'm a physician, damn it, not a miracle worker!



This puppy is dead.

[rzeznikj at stout]

Hey! Cut me some slack--I waz workin' much of the evening (and running around before that)...8^)

Don't really have much to add this week, but I got a couple of ads I'll throw in...

[sully777]

I was just playin'. But the thread was low volume this week.

[nuke rocketeer]

DAng low volume..........

[sully777]

It's the drought, man.

[sully777]

Guess I'll use it for some bitchin poolriding!

[sully777]

Pool riding on the empty thread.

[sully777]

What rolls down stairs, Alone or in pairs, Rolls over your neighbor's dog. What's great for a snack And fits on your back It's log, log, log! It's lo-og, lo-og, It's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's lo-og, lo-og, It's better than bad, it's good. Everyone wants a log, You're gonna love it, log Come on and get your log, Everyone needs a log...

[pissant]

I hope that is peach colored shorts, and not a lack of tan I see.

[sully777]

Peach-colored shorts...or tan...peach or tan...

[pissant]

Is that Fox's Rick Levanthal?

[sully777]

Rick Levanthal...???



ah Jeez, there goes all my coffee on the computer screen.

[sully777]

...and that's the way it was in Tel Aviv today. Back to you Jane.

[sully777]

Well, Greta, Hillary was silent about where she was taking me for the interview...I just kept quiet and they she all the driving. I'd like to comment, if I may, on her furry thighs...

[sully777]

"they she all"...strike that Greta..."she did all the driving"..."I'm sorry I shouldn't have drank all that cough syrup today

[pissant]

It's him, I tell ya!

[pissant]

[sully777]

Well Bill, after this I'll be taking a communal bath in the hotel toilet with Geraldo, Shep and some guests...



...Shep has offered to soap us up but I've elected to watch the rescue operation with Geraldo and the Hooters employees he heroically rescued.

[pissant]

LOL Good one. I hate that a good reporter like Leventhal has to work with such drama queens like Shep and geraldo.