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Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Business, Advertising, and The Boss
Intriguing.com ^
| August 4, 2006
| Sully777
Posted on 08/04/2006 1:08:59 AM PDT by sully777
Adrian Wapcaplet (W): Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang!
Mr. Simpson (S): Thank you.
Mr. Wapcaplet: Do sit down--my name's Wapcaplet, Adrian Wapcaplet...
Simpson: how'd'y'do.
Wapcaplet: Now, Mr. Simpson... Simpson, Simpson... French, is it?
S: No.
W: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder.
S: String.
W: String, washing powder, what's the difference. We can sell *anything*.
S: Good. Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand *miles* of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it...
W: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string, no trouble there.
S: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful.
W: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!"
S: What?
W: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!"
S: For what?
W: "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!"
S: Such as?
W: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attatching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests...
S: Destroying household pests?! How?
W: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than, you flog them to death with it!
S: Well *surely*!....
W: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!" (Click Source-link for conclusion )
TOPICS: Arts/Photography; Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Education; Gardening; Hobbies; Humor; Miscellaneous; Music/Entertainment; Outdoors; Pets/Animals; Society; TV/Movies; UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: 247365; ads; advertising; business; dancingforjoy; friday; mentos; ofst247; silly; woowoo; working4theweekend
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To: sully777
21
posted on
08/04/2006 3:41:49 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: sully777
22
posted on
08/04/2006 4:25:05 AM PDT
by
#1CTYankee
(That's right, I have no proof. So what of it??(Jason Varitek's out and it's Bush's Fault)
To: sully777
An advertisement for a new movie?
Sorry I couldn't resist.
23
posted on
08/04/2006 4:38:10 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
To: sully777
24
posted on
08/04/2006 4:40:37 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
To: sully777
To: sully777
-Eric
26
posted on
08/04/2006 4:44:21 AM PDT
by
E Rocc
(Myspace "Freepers" group moderator)
To: sully777
To: sully777
Singin' in the bathtub
Singin' for joy:
Livin' the life of
Lifebuoy...
Can't stop singin'
Cause I know
Lifebuoy really stops
(Very deep voice-descending scale)
BE-e-e-e-Oh !
-Popular radio commercial of the 1940's-
28
posted on
08/04/2006 4:54:33 AM PDT
by
genefromjersey
(So much to flame;so little time !)
To: sully777
29
posted on
08/04/2006 5:04:33 AM PDT
by
JRios1968
(There's 3 kinds of people in this world...those who know math and those who don't.)
To: sully777
Actual sign up for a couple hours in Indianapolis until someone told them how to spell "peonies".
-Eric
30
posted on
08/04/2006 5:04:47 AM PDT
by
E Rocc
(Myspace "Freepers" group moderator)
To: sully777
To: sully777
Wooooooooohooooooooo in the top 40!
32
posted on
08/04/2006 5:09:27 AM PDT
by
rockabyebaby
(Say what you feel, those that matter don't mind, those that mind don't matter.)
To: sully777
I'm in!!!!
33
posted on
08/04/2006 5:14:32 AM PDT
by
Rummyfan
To: rockabyebaby
34
posted on
08/04/2006 5:21:26 AM PDT
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: sully777
"Nervous BO"
Thanks for ping. What memories these old ads bring back.
*All the bucks think I'm a dear, they love my breath, it smells like beer.*
35
posted on
08/04/2006 5:44:49 AM PDT
by
bwteim
To: sully777
Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything, tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math.
Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed.
She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. "Well, then," she replied, "Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?"
Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
36
posted on
08/04/2006 5:48:49 AM PDT
by
Sax
(You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat)
To: sully777
1 bowl of Colon Blow is equal to 200 bowls of Total!
37
posted on
08/04/2006 5:50:29 AM PDT
by
Sax
(You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat)
To: sully777
Too true!
You've been busy already!
38
posted on
08/04/2006 5:53:33 AM PDT
by
Hoodlum91
(I've been rocked.)
To: E Rocc
39
posted on
08/04/2006 6:08:03 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: Sax
Hey, I saw the use of Colon Blow in this movie
40
posted on
08/04/2006 6:10:13 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
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