Not even a pack of Trojans.
Posted on 07/03/2006 3:52:07 AM PDT by Swordmaker
He's faster than a speeding bullet. He's more powerful than a locomotive. He's able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. Why can't he get a girl?
At the ripe old age of thirty-one (*Superman first appeared in Action Comics, June 1938*), Kal-El (alias Superman, alias Clark Kent) is still unmarried. Almost certainly he is still a virgin. This is a serious matter. The species itself is in danger!
An unwed Superman is a mobile Superman. Thus it has been alleged that those who chronicle the Man of Steel's adventures are responsible for his condition. But the cartoonists are not to blame.
Nor is Superman handicapped by psychological problems.
Granted that the poor oaf is not entirely sane. How could he be? He is an orphan, a refugee, and an alien. His homeland no longer exists in any form, save for gigatons upon gigatons of dangerous, prettily colored rocks.
As a child and young adult, Kal-El must have been hard put to find an adequate father-figure. What human could control his antisocial behavior? What human would dare try to punish him? His actual, highly social behavior during this period indicates an inhuman self-restraint.
What wonder if Superman drifted gradually into schizophrenia? Torn between his human and kryptonian identities, he chose to be both, keeping his split personalities rigidly separate. A psychotic desperation is evident in his defense of his "secret identity."
But Superman's sex problems are strictly physiological, and quite real.
The purpose of this article is to point out some medical drawbacks to being a kryptonian among human beings, and to suggest possible solutions. The kryptonian humanoid must not be allowed to go the way of the pterodactyl and the passenger pigeon.
(Excerpt) Read more at rawbw.com ...
Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex (also published as Man of Steel, Girl of Tissue Paper)
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-0607020321jul02,1,715073.column?coll=chi-news-col
This Man of Steel could use some mettle
John Kass
July 2, 2006
"....The American icon is no longer an American. He's not proud of the American way.
It says so in The Hollywood Reporter, in a story by Tatiana Siegel, about the movie that other reviewers insisted was so, so iconic.
The real Superman, the pre-Kyoto, pre-Guantanamo Bay Superman, understood who he was. He fought for "truth, justice and the American way." That was his credo--even while threatening terrorists into giving up important information in time to save the day.
But in the new movie, the Man of Steel can't even bring himself to say it. Instead, a supporting character, played by Frank Langella, says Superman stands for "truth, justice and all that stuff."
All that stuff? Why didn't he just say "truth, justice and, you know, like, whatever?"
Excerpt: Go to: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-0607020321jul02,1,715073.column?coll=chi-news-col
I don't think a Trojan's gonna help.
Not even a pack of Trojans.
LOL! "The servant waits, while the master baits!"
Yeah, riiiiight .......
Actually, if you've seen the current Superman release, you know that there is conclusive proof that Superman is no longer a virgin....
I'm going to rent that movie soon...good times. Mel Brooks serving at The Last Supper
Brooks: (under his breath) Jesus...
Jesus: Yes.
Brooks: What?
Jesus: What?
Brooks: (under breath again) Jesus...
Jesus: Yes.
Brooks: What?
Jesus: What?
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