Posted on 06/01/2006 1:08:49 PM PDT by Buck Ninety-Nine
WASHINGTON, May 31 After vowing to steer a greater share of antiterrorism money to the highest-risk communities, Department of Homeland Security officials on Wednesday announced 2006 grants that slashed money for New York and Washington 40 percent, while other cities including Omaha and Louisville, Ky., got a surge of new dollars.
Homeland security officials said the grants were a result of a more sophisticated evaluation process
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
and spread in on a piece of bread.
Wait for the phone to stop ringing.
Take another piece of bread and spread a load of peanut butter on that. Slap them together and, voila, a fluffernutter:
Film star and director Mel Gibson has launched a scathing attack on US President George W Bush, comparing his leadership to the barbaric rulers of the Mayan civilization in his new film Apocalypto.
The epic, due for release later this year, captures the decline of the Maya kingdom and the slaughter of thousands of inhabitants as human sacrifices in a bid to save the nation from collapsing.
Gibson reveals he used present day American politics as an inspiration, claiming the government callously plays on the nation's insecurities to maintain power.
He tells British film magazine Hotdog, "The fear-mongering we depict in the film reminds me of President Bush and his guys".<\I>
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/12052006/364/gibson-inspired-fear-mongering-bush.html
Considering his attitude about the President, he could hate Jews as well, I can't exclude the possibility.
Urp! ew. Marshmellows..... *shudder*
I remember someone having the persistence one - remember the series of posters that were framed by black? He was fired.
"CLOWNPOSSEBONEHEADS;"
begin to appear in our keywords? And just exactly what is a clownpossebonehead?
I dunno -- could be like a sporkweasel.
It's still kindly, but if you say it isn't then it'll have to be brilliant instead. I just wish people like you would make the news instead of the miscreants who treat innocent animals cruelly.
Subject: Hair Removal 101
...God love the woman who shared this...
All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors,razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom.
It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart,press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl, but I
am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out.
*YA THINK!!!*
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts me!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo hoo and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with hair, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. noo!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.
Hoo Hoo? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!
God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is
located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hoo hoo or what?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better
then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into
glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace....the lotion they
give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point.
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care.
"IT WORKS!! It works!!"
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and dispair..................................
THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
Looks good..But I don't think I could do it daily.
Why invite problems......
That's not a fluffernutter. Fluffernutter's don't have chocolate. They may contain jelly or even bananas, but not chocolate. Fan2, you add chocolate for breakfast?
Daily Peanutbutter is good to grow kids and dogs but my metabolism isn't the same anymore.
I had a client use this stuff for the shaved hair look.
Wanted to know how to get it off...
You forgot to say WARM golden brown marshmallow...;o]
;o])
What did you tell her, soak her head??
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