**** Official Friday Silliness Thread **** 03/17/2006

[Millee]

You come home sober and your dog bites you.

The cafeteria in the detox center has a sandwich named after you.

You can’t recognize your best friend unless he’s leaning against a bar. With a drink in his hand. Drunk.

You like a splash of coffee in your morning whiskey.

You can blow a .08 BAC from twenty feet away.

You’re kept awake at night by the sound of your liver crying.

You prefer cold showers because the ice in your drink doesn’t melt as fast.

You’re shocked and confounded to discover they actually sell Coke without Jack Daniels.

When a cop asks you to walk a straight line, you ask, “Which one?”

You tried getting out of a DUI by putting a beer label on your arm and telling the cop you’re off the booze and on the patch.

You woke up on New Years Eve with the resolution of finding out which bars open earliest.

You’re definition of a problem drinker is guy who won’t buy you a round.

You know hangovers only last a day, but a good drinking story lives on forever.

A good drinking buddy will bail you out of jail, but a great drinking buddy will be sitting in the cell beside you, saying, “Man, that was awesome!”

You regularly ask bartenders, “So, how are the spill mats looking tonight? Anything good in there?” - LOL!

[squishy]

For a group of people who can't reproduce, there sure are a lot of 'em.
(Larry the Cable Guy)

[blau993]

I'm glad to hear that. Its one virtue in 1966 was that it was cheap.

[ChandyB71]

[motormouth]

UH HUH! :o)




MM

[JimWforBush]

[RightCanuck]

'coulda been the two-four-six pack I don't know
but look at the mess I'm in,
Wasn't that a party?'

[baker_girl]

LOL! Cute.

[The_Victor]

A normal drinker, a problem drinker, and an alcoholic walk into a bar and each order a beer. After settling onto a barstool, each one finds that a fly has landed in his drink. The normal drinker pushes his beer away and leaves. The problem drinker picks the fly out of his beer, cautiously looks around, tosses the fly away and goes back to drinking. The alcoholic picks the fly out of his beer, and carefully, holding the insect by the wings, suspends it over his beer, hits it on the back and screams, “Give it back you sombitch!”

[JimWforBush]

YOMANK!

[Dashing Dasher]

Car Pool?

[Millee]

LOL!

[ChandyB71]

Workers spread a special dye in a downtown section of the Chicago River to temporarily turn it green 11 March 2006 for the city's St. Patrick's Day celebration. The tradition of dying the river dates back over 40 years

[BenLurkin]

Enjoy a season appropriate seven course meal:

[ChandyB71]

Jodi Foster knows how to get into the St. Patty's day spirit too:


Actress Jodie Foster (L) does an Irish jig dance in honour of St. Patrick's Day as talk show host Jay Leno (R) looks on, during her appearance on 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno' at the NBC studios in Burbank, California March 16, 2006.

[ChandyB71]

CAPTION THIS PHOTO:


Ya know, these "queers" only come out on holidays...and I'm only talking about the Democrats.

[JimWforBush]

I really hope that is permanent marker.

[JimWforBush]

is=isn't

[BenLurkin]

Mrs. O'Doul went to see Father Reilly:

"Father can you give your blessing to my using contraception? I have nine lovely darlings already but every Friday when my husband comes home late he insists on loving me some more."

"Mrs. O'Doul, haven't you heard of the rhythm method?"

" Saints no Father . . . and where will I find a band at three o'clock in the morning?"

[JimWforBush]

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."