Posted on 01/22/2006 9:30:38 PM PST by hsmomx3
Does anyone know of a good Christian divorce lawyer in the Phoenix area?
I hate the thought of doing this but my husband is having an affair with someone at work and he appears to be going thru a midlife crisis as well.
This breaks my heart yet he continues saying he believes God brought he and this woman together.
We have children as well and it is hurting all of us.
I would suggest that after you get the advice you need here; have this thread deleted. His lawyer might have a field day with this.
Good advice bonfire.
Now here is something intersting that my husband has told me three times and my son once:
He has made a mess of things
He does not know how to end it with her
Does not want to hurt her because he loves her
All this said while he was crying for at least 15 minutes.
My husband claims to not remember saying these things but my son and I told him he did say these things.
Women for the most part who knowingly date a married man will not hesistate to pull out all guns to get what they want, and it ususally is by bad mouthing the wife as the Spawn of Satan. Men IMHO can have mush brain when it comes to a woman who is sleeping with him and targeting his over zealous testosterone condition, that being said the MAN confuses LUST for LOVE...
Women can be very evil and it's pretty sad, because I being a part of that sex find it appalling how some women will do and say whatever they want about another woman they know nothing about.
This female is nothing but a LILLITH...
Your best bet would be to go with a firm like "Dewey, Cheatham and Howe".
If I was ever in your position, I'd go with the one that still has the last client's spouse's testicles still hanging from his chin.
Betrayal is a hard emotion to deal with when you have trusted someone.
When you are a loyal person in a marraige, as a friend, as a worker it is hard when someone betrays you.
My hope is for all women to have happy loyal relationships and quality friendships that endure...
I know and it will cost me $300 for a consultation with a top notch lawyer.
I am debating whether to go or not because I really don't have $300.
This is not a time to be pennywise and pound-foolish.
Find the cash and get yourself in the brown leather consultation chair.
Hate to say this, but if you think 300 is a lot of money, you're in for a rough road.
Most attorneys charge at least 100 per hour. At a minimum and that's if you're in a lower income area. In Phoenix, I'd say the going rate is between 200 and 300 an hour.
Sell some things around the house if you have to and get the lawyer on retainer. Now. Do not hesitate.
When he gets the summons, he might be a little more apprehensive in carrying on his ways.
Most lawyers do a "first consultation free" thing. Also....I don't know about your state,but here in NC we have a wonderful little thing we can sue for called ALIENATION OF AFFECTION. My aunt used this and not only got alimony but the homewrecker had to pay her too. LMAO>>> LOOK INTO IT GIRL!!!!
BEST OF LUCK
I think you will need a lawyer who will handle you're case in Pro Per....
If you are a stay at home mother this will all work out in you're behalf he will have to pay, he might not know the scope of financial ramifications he is under if he truly wants this to end...
Christian or not, you need a bulldog. I am not licensed in your state, but it sounds like you have really strong grounds for alimony and support from him, so go get it and take that dog for every dollar he has.
When my marriage was going bad a few years ago (not infidelity, thank God!, but bad just the same). I gave in to that stuff about my husband was all wrong..I was all right.
Until I realized man is not perfect, that they have their own way of "acting out" I was lost. Once I figured that out..my marriage was saved within the year. That was over 10 years ago.
That is NOT biblical marriage. What did Christ ask of us as He suffered on the cross? He suffered FIR us as we sinned, he did not wait until we quit sinning, did he?
Husbands and wives today are so selfish, if they are each not constantly petted like precious pets, they think its all over.
Sometimes REAL LOVE takes giving 100% and receiving 0%. This presupposes that there is love left between the two parties..and I would say REAL LOVE can not easily be turned off. It can be paused momentarily, but never turned off.
Richer or Poorer, Not enough money girls? No guarantee with true love
Sickness and Health. Is your spouse experiencing a mental illness? Ababnonden the b@stard!
Better or Worse. Oh, the good-time mate..what a catch! What happens when they are not so good? leave the b@stard!
Real marriage, with real problems, with real love, takes REAL work and TRUE self-sacrifice.
I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. What you wrote could have been written by my SIL who is going through this right now. Obsessive phone calling, pathological lying, etc...It's so very sad and you just want to smack the person that is breaking the marriage vows.
As painful as it may be, I agree with the other posters--you must get a good attorney. Print up those phone records, watch your credit card bills for any jump in spending.
You and your children have my unending prayers.
Excellent post! We have all been there, done that at times in our lives with relationships.
Being to hard-headed, stubborn,wanting you're own way all the time, doing what you want to do and when you want to do it is not condusive for happiness in marraige...
I read all the time where people say marriage is work, you have to work at it. That is psychobabble. You work a garden or work a job. Love is easy.
Sometimes the spouse with money is ordered to pay the other spouse's legal bills. Of course if your husband doesn't have money either it starts coming out of assets like the house. There are legal aid societies for women but you might not like the kind of people you find there.
Do you have a pastor? Will your husband consider counseling? Can you send your children to a friend's house in the morning before he goes to work and have the pastor come over?
I have a friend whose marriage is back together again after a similar situation, so I know it can be done. He wouldn't change until she left with the children and took legal steps. But HE has to change. It might not happen.
DON'T leave. DO take legal steps. Get a lawyer, a tough honest lawyer. Seeking a separation is not the same as seeking a divorce.
I agree completely.
I know you state that you still love him but by remaining married to him with his behavior as it is you are enabling him to abuse you and your chidlren. Somehow you've got to slap him upside the head and get him to change (Actually God works the change but you have to help).
Filing for divorce may be enough to bring him to his senses. If not, then going through with the divorce may be. There is nothing to stop you two from remarrying if he does come to his senses later and you desire him back (You are under no obligation however as he broke the vows).
I'd recommend filing and taking him for everything he has or ever will have. Likewise file suit against his plaything as she has alienated his affections from you.
(and of course keep praying for him)
We're praying for you
Exactly.
When the dog refuses to stop sniffing at a distant fire hydrant, yes...it is time to take off the leash and let said cur go.
I mentioned both counselling and a full medical workup earlier for several reasons: First, infidelity seldom "just happens." I am in no way condoning it, but it is true. What Mr hs should have done was to communicate with hs that he felt something lacking in the relationship before wandering off to find it in a greener pasture. Lots of couples have problems communicating, for any number of reasons. Hence counselling.
Next, a full medical workup is imperative here, for the well-being of both parties. Mr hs sounds like someone not behaving in his right mind. It is always possible that there is a medical reason for this. Sad, but true: A guy my husband worked with began acting funny, both at work and at home. When he began having vision problems on top of this, he saw a doctor. He died as a result of an inoperable brain tumor three months later, at the age of 29. Even if Mr hs is perfectly fit, hs needs to protect herself and her children. Mr hs is having an affair with a woman of such low morals that she is willingly breaking up a family. There is no chance at all--none--that she was a virgin at the start of this affair. You can follow my train of thought here without my having to spell it out for you.
Nowhere have I stated that this marriage cannot be saved, but hs alone cannot do the saving. The bulk of the effort is going to have to come from Mr hs here. He has broken a promise to God, to his wife, to his family. If, by chance, he sees the error of his ways and is truly repentant, there is hope. There is no sin that cannot be forgiven. Essentially, though, the ball is right now in his court. And I still insist that hs must see a lawyer, even if it means selling something off or borrowing from a friend or family member. Right now, she and her children are in an extremely vulnerable position, and they need protection.
BTW, hs--have you looked into legal aid lawyers in your area? If you can't find one, oddly enough, ask the Salvation Army how to get in touch with one.
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