When my marriage was going bad a few years ago (not infidelity, thank God!, but bad just the same). I gave in to that stuff about my husband was all wrong..I was all right.
Until I realized man is not perfect, that they have their own way of "acting out" I was lost. Once I figured that out..my marriage was saved within the year. That was over 10 years ago.
That is NOT biblical marriage. What did Christ ask of us as He suffered on the cross? He suffered FIR us as we sinned, he did not wait until we quit sinning, did he?
Husbands and wives today are so selfish, if they are each not constantly petted like precious pets, they think its all over.
Sometimes REAL LOVE takes giving 100% and receiving 0%. This presupposes that there is love left between the two parties..and I would say REAL LOVE can not easily be turned off. It can be paused momentarily, but never turned off.
Richer or Poorer, Not enough money girls? No guarantee with true love
Sickness and Health. Is your spouse experiencing a mental illness? Ababnonden the b@stard!
Better or Worse. Oh, the good-time mate..what a catch! What happens when they are not so good? leave the b@stard!
Real marriage, with real problems, with real love, takes REAL work and TRUE self-sacrifice.
Excellent post! We have all been there, done that at times in our lives with relationships.
Being to hard-headed, stubborn,wanting you're own way all the time, doing what you want to do and when you want to do it is not condusive for happiness in marraige...
I read all the time where people say marriage is work, you have to work at it. That is psychobabble. You work a garden or work a job. Love is easy.
When the dog refuses to stop sniffing at a distant fire hydrant, yes...it is time to take off the leash and let said cur go.
I mentioned both counselling and a full medical workup earlier for several reasons: First, infidelity seldom "just happens." I am in no way condoning it, but it is true. What Mr hs should have done was to communicate with hs that he felt something lacking in the relationship before wandering off to find it in a greener pasture. Lots of couples have problems communicating, for any number of reasons. Hence counselling.
Next, a full medical workup is imperative here, for the well-being of both parties. Mr hs sounds like someone not behaving in his right mind. It is always possible that there is a medical reason for this. Sad, but true: A guy my husband worked with began acting funny, both at work and at home. When he began having vision problems on top of this, he saw a doctor. He died as a result of an inoperable brain tumor three months later, at the age of 29. Even if Mr hs is perfectly fit, hs needs to protect herself and her children. Mr hs is having an affair with a woman of such low morals that she is willingly breaking up a family. There is no chance at all--none--that she was a virgin at the start of this affair. You can follow my train of thought here without my having to spell it out for you.
Nowhere have I stated that this marriage cannot be saved, but hs alone cannot do the saving. The bulk of the effort is going to have to come from Mr hs here. He has broken a promise to God, to his wife, to his family. If, by chance, he sees the error of his ways and is truly repentant, there is hope. There is no sin that cannot be forgiven. Essentially, though, the ball is right now in his court. And I still insist that hs must see a lawyer, even if it means selling something off or borrowing from a friend or family member. Right now, she and her children are in an extremely vulnerable position, and they need protection.
BTW, hs--have you looked into legal aid lawyers in your area? If you can't find one, oddly enough, ask the Salvation Army how to get in touch with one.
Husbands and wives today are so selfish, if they are each not constantly petted like precious pets, they think its all over.
If your assertion here is that one expecting fidelity from a spouse is somehow being pampered and selfish...well, if that is your assertion, we need no further argument, as we will have NO common ground.