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THE SITUATION ROOM (WITH WOLF BLITZER - HILARIOUS!)
WAZZADEM
| 12/5/05
| JOHN
Posted on 12/05/2005 7:14:51 AM PST by areafiftyone
The Situation Room
![Sitrm1 Sitrm1](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm1.jpg)
I'm Wolf Blitzer. To our viewers, you are in The Situation Room, where new pictures and information are arriving all the time. Standing by, CNN reporters across the United States and around the world to bring you the day's top stories happening now.
![Sitrm1 Sitrm1](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm1.jpg)
It's 3 a.m. in Iraq, let's check in with Nic Robertson, who's on the ground in Baghdad. Nic, it looks like it's pitch-black there.
![Nicdrk Nicdrk](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/nicdrk.jpg)
Indeed, Wolf, it's so dark that you can't see your hand in front of your face, and at this hour an eerie quiet has...
![Niclite Niclite](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/niclite.jpg)
Turn the light off!
![Nicdrk Nicdrk](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/nicdrk.jpg)
As I was saying, Wolf...
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Excuse me, Nic, but where are you right now?
![Nicdrk Nicdrk](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/nicdrk.jpg)
I'm in a very dangerous area of...oh, crap.
![Niclite Niclite](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/niclite.jpg)
I'm in my kitchen.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Why aren't you in Baghdad?
![Niclite Niclite](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/niclite.jpg)
It's kind of hard to explain. It's just that my...my...
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Your what?
![Wifenic Wifenic](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/wifenic.jpg)
His wife, that's what. Who's supposed to keep this house up while Nic's running all over the globe for you?
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Mrs. Roberts, I...
![Nicwife Nicwife](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/nicwife.jpg)
I can handle this, dear.
![Wifenic Wifenic](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/wifenic.jpg)
Of course you can. You've done a smashing job handling it so far, haven't you?
![Nicwife Nicwife](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/nicwife.jpg)
I don't think we need to go into this on...
![Wifenic Wifenic](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/wifenic.jpg)
You know what I've been handling? Fourteen pair of underwear full of sand, that's what I've been handling.
![Nicwife Nicwife](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/nicwife.jpg)
Honey...
![Wifenic Wifenic](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/wifenic.jpg)
How does a person get sand in the crotch of his underwear?
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Mrs. Roberts, he is a reporter, and travel is part of his job.
![Wifenic Wifenic](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/wifenic.jpg)
Why don't you tell that to my daughter? Amelia, the mean man wants to send your daddy away again.
![Nickid Nickid](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/nickid.jpg)
Please don't send my daddy away again, mean man.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Nic Robertson, checking in from...Nic Robertson checking in with us. Thanks for that report, Nic.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
You're in The Situation Room. Let's go to New York, where Jack Cafferty is standing by with your e-mail. Hello, Jack.
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
Hello, Wolf. How about that Nic Robertson, huh? Talk about whipped!
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
I don't know if I'd say that.
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
Get real, Blitzer. I bet the guy has to squat to take a pee.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Well...
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
And that wife of his - what a shrew!
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
I don't think you should say that about his wife, Jack.
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm just glad to see he has a wife. Always thought he was a little light in the loafers, if you know what I'm saying.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Yes, I know what you're saying, but...
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
If you ask me, most of those English guys are.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Why don't we change the subject, Jack.
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
Sure. Let's talk about my role on this show. Seems to me I remember some talk of a position as co-host.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
That's really not my call, Jack.
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
You think I can't cut it? I was reading copy when you were in your diapers, Blitzer.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
No one's saying you can't cut it.
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
Think I don't get offers? I get offers. I'm in demand.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Can we please just get to the e-mail?
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
Fine, have it your way. The question this hour was "What do you think of the show so far?"
![Cq1 Cq1](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cq1.jpg)
Bill writes "Doesn't this show ever end? It seems like The Situation Room is the only show on CNN any more..."
![Cq2 Cq2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cq2.jpg)
"which would be all right if it didn't suck. I swear, the next time I see Wolf Blitzer's face I'm going to drive an ice pick into my ear."
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
I don't think Bill likes the show, Wolf.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
I picked up on that.
![Cq3_1 Cq3_1](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cq3_1.jpg)
Dave writes "Wasn't Jack Cafferty supposed to co-host this show? What, you think he can't cut it, Blitzer?"
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Jack.
![Cq3_1 Cq3_1](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cq3_1.jpg)
"Come on, the guy was still reading copy when you were in diapers."
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Jack!
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
What is it, Wolf?
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
Nothing. Thanks for checking in, I'll see you tomorrow.
![Cfrt Cfrt](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cfrt.jpg)
Yeah, don't let your meat loaf.
![Sitrm2_2 Sitrm2_2](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sitrm2_2.jpg)
You're in The Situation Room. We're going to take a short break, then move into hour seven of The Situation Room...Here on...You know, The Situation Room.
![Sit_title_1 Sit_title_1](http://wuzzadem.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sit_title_1.jpg)
You're in The Situation Room.
To be continued(?)
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: biasmeanslayoffs; cnn; dterior8ingsituation; humor; mrsrobertsonisahotty; schadenfreude; southparkesque; wuzzadem
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To: pookie18; PhilDragoo; potlatch; ntnychik; Alamo-Girl; Grampa Dave; Interesting Times; Republic; ...
61
posted on
12/06/2005 11:17:42 AM PST
by
devolve
(<--- (--------(--do not check out my tame FR home page--)-------)
To: areafiftyone
Holy crap! That was hilarious - again. You're a comedy genius.
62
posted on
12/06/2005 11:23:20 AM PST
by
Spiff
("They start yelling, 'Murderer!' 'Traitor!' They call me by name." - Gael Murphy, Code Pink leader)
To: OXENinFLA
63
posted on
12/06/2005 2:09:57 PM PST
by
Gucho
To: areafiftyone
64
posted on
12/06/2005 4:31:48 PM PST
by
Chieftain
(Cindy Sheehan is a shameful example of an American mother duped by Kerry's LIES!)
To: areafiftyone; bitt
One of the funniest posts I've seen in a while! Well done!
Thanks for the PING, bitt!
65
posted on
12/06/2005 6:47:35 PM PST
by
NewLand
(Posting against liberalism since the 20th century!)
To: areafiftyone
66
posted on
12/06/2005 7:47:14 PM PST
by
potlatch
(Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?)
To: bitt; devolve
This is great stuff, thanks for the ping.
devolve, have you seen this?
67
posted on
12/06/2005 7:48:16 PM PST
by
potlatch
(Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?)
To: devolve
Good work devolve! Coldfinger, LOL!
68
posted on
12/06/2005 7:56:46 PM PST
by
potlatch
(Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?)
To: areafiftyone
To: areafiftyone; devolve
OMG! This thread is hilarious.
Very funny, thanks.
To: areafiftyone
71
posted on
12/07/2005 9:45:23 AM PST
by
subterfuge
(Obama, mo mama...er Osama-La bamba, uh, Bama...Banana Rama...URP!---Ted Kennedy)
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