Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? (Humor)
Unknown

Posted on 05/12/2005 10:33:39 AM PDT by Allosaurs_r_us

A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! . . .

I'm sorry. What was the question?


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-115 next last
To: trisham

It aint that time of the month is it?........ Heh, heh


61 posted on 05/12/2005 12:44:54 PM PDT by Allosaurs_r_us (for a fee........I'm happy to be........Your BACKDOOR MAN!....Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Allosaurs_r_us

Very funny. I always say that without we women, men wouldn't be able to find their @sses with both hands!

I recently informed my husband that if he leaves his socks on the floor one more time, they are going to begin migrating to the garbage can. Perhaps, once he has no socks left, he'll get the point. I am not a maid.

On a side note, I don't care about the toilet seat thing. He needs it up, I need it down. Give that battle up.


62 posted on 05/12/2005 1:02:54 PM PDT by conservativebabe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Allosaurs_r_us

Never trust anything that bleeds for three days but doesn't die.


63 posted on 05/12/2005 1:05:59 PM PDT by johnlaw
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: conservativebabe
without we women, men wouldn't be able to find their @sses with both hands!
 
Hmmm, you sure you're not my wife logging on from work? You should see the look I get when I tell her "that's women's work".   LOL

64 posted on 05/12/2005 1:06:19 PM PDT by Allosaurs_r_us (for a fee........I'm happy to be........Your BACKDOOR MAN!....Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 62 | View Replies]

To: Allosaurs_r_us

Well, by the same token, I use that line on my husband about taking out the garbage and mowing the lawn, "that's a man's work". He just rolls his eyes at me, sighs, and does it anyway.


65 posted on 05/12/2005 1:10:40 PM PDT by conservativebabe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 64 | View Replies]

To: johnlaw

Never trust anything that bleeds for three days but doesn't die.

 
Boy! That one is goin to get you in trouble....LOL You must not be married.
 
Either that or she is out of the room. Heh, heh

66 posted on 05/12/2005 1:10:42 PM PDT by Allosaurs_r_us (for a fee........I'm happy to be........Your BACKDOOR MAN!....Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: johnlaw

LOL! Not THAT is funny!


67 posted on 05/12/2005 1:11:29 PM PDT by conservativebabe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: conservativebabe

Not=Now


68 posted on 05/12/2005 1:12:35 PM PDT by conservativebabe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 67 | View Replies]

To: Allosaurs_r_us; johnlaw

Doesn't it really come down to the fact that we all just want to be appreciated for what we do?

Though, some try to do as little as possible.


69 posted on 05/12/2005 1:14:42 PM PDT by conservativebabe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 66 | View Replies]

To: Dashing Dasher; Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Wait,, after yesterdays ban fest I don't want any bad publicity!!

I wanted to clone her only for her immunity to PMS. The extra baggage pretty much nullified all bets! :-)


70 posted on 05/12/2005 1:16:28 PM PDT by JoeSixPack1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 59 | View Replies]

To: conservativebabe
He just rolls his eyes at me, sighs, and does it anyway.
 
Hell, around here she mows the lawn too. It's either that or I let the horses into the yard to mow it for me. It's a pretty good system if you don't mind "horse nuggets". LOL
 
Of course in the winter when it's 40 below she doesn't leave her place by the fire unless I don't show back up after a couple of hours. Even then she would probly just shovel the snow over the top of me until spring thaw.
 
After 32 years we pretty much have this marriage thing kicked.  LOL  Can't imagine life any other way.

71 posted on 05/12/2005 1:17:21 PM PDT by Allosaurs_r_us (for a fee........I'm happy to be........Your BACKDOOR MAN!....Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 65 | View Replies]

To: JoeSixPack1; Dashing Dasher

I guess it is better that way. More than one of me and the earth would be in trouble. I would not get you banned, not on purpose anyway.


72 posted on 05/12/2005 1:18:49 PM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 70 | View Replies]

To: Allosaurs_r_us

73 posted on 05/12/2005 1:18:57 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher ("You're my favorite Freeper. Ever" - Skooz 5/11/05 -- (Miss Behave agreed))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 64 | View Replies]

To: Allosaurs_r_us

Truthfully, I don't mind doing the garbage and I actually enjoy yard work, so I see where you are coming from. We just have to give each other a hard time once in a while.

Course, I like yardwork, but when it comes to my husband and laundry, not so much. LOL! ;)


74 posted on 05/12/2005 1:19:30 PM PDT by conservativebabe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 71 | View Replies]

To: conservativebabe

Helk no my wife's not in the room. I'd be sleeping on the couch for three weeks if she knew I said that. By the way, has anyone ever gone on an out-of-town trip and accidently left your wife's make-up bag on top of the car, only to see it fly off while your going 70 mph on the freeway? Now THAT will get you in trouble!


75 posted on 05/12/2005 1:20:26 PM PDT by johnlaw
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 69 | View Replies]

To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

I don't have PMS anymore, I am too old, but a low blood sugar attack will cause me to act kinda like this, right before I pass out. ;9) It certainly makes people listen.


76 posted on 05/12/2005 1:20:56 PM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Allosaurs_r_us

PMS = The other 3 weeks.


77 posted on 05/12/2005 1:23:29 PM PDT by N. Theknow (Planned Parenthood is neither)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: johnlaw

No but he has turned many of my white bras and panties pink or faded blue, on the rare occassions that he has done it. I have respectfully asked him to leave the laundry to me.


78 posted on 05/12/2005 1:25:04 PM PDT by conservativebabe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 75 | View Replies]

To: johnlaw
By the way, has anyone ever gone on an out-of-town trip and accidently left your wife's make-up bag on top of the car, only to see it fly off while your going 70 mph on the freeway? Now THAT will get you in trouble!

....sure would with me!!!

79 posted on 05/12/2005 1:30:33 PM PDT by SweetCaroline (Politicians and Diapers need changing often and for the same reason!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 75 | View Replies]

To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

More than one of me and the earth would be in trouble.



ROFL!!!!!


80 posted on 05/12/2005 1:32:21 PM PDT by JoeSixPack1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 72 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-115 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson