Posted on 10/19/2025 7:16:23 PM PDT by numberonepal
In a bizarre display of intergenerational opportunism, Medicare Supplemental Insurance salesman Jerry Jenkins has been raking in the dough by targeting the unlikeliest of demographics: Baby Boomers participating in the No Kings Day protests against Trump's alleged authoritarianism. Yes, you read that right-Boomers, armed with inflatable unicorns and "America Has No Kings" signs, are storming the streets, and Jenkins is right behind them, clipboard in hand.
"I mean, who better to sell to than people already primed to trust the government?" Jenkins mused, adjusting his plaid suit. "They're like, 'We need to protect democracy-oh, and also my Medicare benefits!' I'm just the guy to tell them, 'Sir, Plan G covers 100% of your Part B coinsurance-no king required.'"
Jenkins' strategy involves hijacking the protesters' signs as impromptu sales props. "I'll grab a guy's 'NO KINGS!' sign, flip it over, and write 'NO DEDUCTIBLES!' on the back," he explained. "Next thing you know, we're discussing out-of-pocket limits while he's chanting 'This is what democracy looks like!'"
One Boomer, 67-year-old Karen, was spotted waving an "Indivisible" flag while simultaneously signing up for Plan N. "I don't trust Trump, but I trust Jerry-and the government," she said, eyes welling up with tears. "He told me I could save $500 a year-enough to buy more NPR tote bags!"
Jenkins has even started offering a "Patriotic Discount" for any protester who can recite the Constitution while filling out a quote. "It's all about building trust," he said. "And if they can't remember their own name after a few whiffs of tear gas, I've got a pen with a magnifying glass built in."
As the protests rage on, Jenkins is expanding his operation, hiring a team of "Protest Insurance Ambassadors" to target key Boomer demographics-namely, those carrying "I'd Rather Be Golfing (But First Let's Save Democracy)" signs. "It's a niche market, but someone's gotta serve it," he chuckled, before adding, "And hey, if you're 65 or older, I've got the best rates in town. No kings? No problem!"
The insurance industry is taking notice, with several major carriers offering Jenkins a seven-figure deal to become their official "Resistance Salesman." Jenkins remains coy about the offers, but insiders say he's demanding a private golf cart and a bulk discount on NPR memberships. "I'm not getting any younger," he said, "but my clients are."
Protecting social benefits, even if it starves the children, is what the no kings protests are all about.
Tu aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas
Almost up there with the Bee in satire!
He will have to compete with AARP.
Huzzah!
👍
:) Thanks for the first chuckle of the day...
That was the idea. Uncensored.ai helped me write it.
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